I realize I don’t owe anyone an explanation, so I’d like to get that out of the way first. I am completely aware that I am not responsible for how people perceive me — especially when their perceptions are askew.
Full disclosure, this isn’t for them—it’s for me. Why is it important that I defend myself? In the grand scheme of things, it probably isn’t at all. However to me, in my life right now, it’s huge. It’s so huge in fact, that it’s keeping me up at night and overpowering my thoughts.
So I am putting this out there, and I’m doing it for me. In publishing this, I am giving myself permission to release the unbearable heavy weight of trying to please everyone. I can’t and I never will. So I will type this, and bid these feelings—and those who have fallen out of love with me, adieu.
To The People Who Say I’ve Changed:
You are damn right I’ve changed.
In May of last year, One year and four months ago, I was a mother of three working at a carpentry company. I made a silly video for no reason other than I felt like it—and it went viral.
That was never my plan…
Eleven months later I had 1 million supporters.
In the four months following, I acquired 1.5 million MORE supporters.
In one year, and four months, I have been blessed with over 2.5 million followers.
That was never my plan.
I was not expecting any of this and frankly, I was completely unprepared. However I was grateful, honored and joyous over the fact that I had finally—found my calling.
I loved making videos, and people loved watching them. So much so, that in order to keep up with “demand” of continuing to do so, I decided to quit my job at the carpentry company – one of the scariest most liberating decisions I’ve ever made.
The thing is, making videos, brightening peoples days, and spreading awareness became my mission – I loved doing it. However my husband was working overtime to pay the bills, and truthfully if it wasn’t for Patreon, I would have had to stop and go back to work.
With a large number of supporters, comes a large number of people reaching out to me. So for those of you saying I look tired, or I don’t care about you because you reached out bearing your soul and I ignored you, I’d like to give you an inside look into my world.
This is from tonight, from my email—one of 5 inboxes…. observe the frequency of the incoming emails…
I have thousands of unread messages in IG and FB as well…
I can tell you one way I’ve changed…I am filled with so much gratitude that people are reaching out to me, I am honored they open up the way they do, but I’m just one person. And it is constantly in the back of my mind that I am unable to respond to everyone bearing their soul in my inbox.
As an empath, it kills. Especially with subject lines like this:
Have I changed? Yes, I feel like I am letting people down on a constant basis. It weighs on me daily, and makes me feel depressed and unworthy of this incredible platform I’ve been given. There are days where, in order to keep my sanity, I steer clear of social media all together. I have to.
I have recently been called names and unfollowed because I did a few sponsored ads. I need to put this into perspective for all of you say I’ve changed and all of my content is sponsored now. I know I don’t have to, but I want to.
I’ve made hundreds of videos.
Six were sponsored.
Those sponsored videos, are what allows me to make the rest of the videos for your enjoyment. Because I don’t get paid to buy props, film, and spend hours editing. I do that at no cost, because I like to make people happy.
I work with two companies, and the beautiful thing is – in order to watch the rest of my videos, YOU DON’T HAVE TO BUY A SINGLE THING! Heck, you don’t even HAVE to watch the sponsored videos. You can scroll on by and watch the rest of the stuff I spend my life creating – at no charge. Why does it bother you so much?
HERE IS SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO KNOW.
And truthfully, I’m probably going to get in trouble for this next thing, but again, it’s important to me.
I work with two companies, because I truly love them as people, and as a brand. The companies have bought books for my supporters, sent flowers and beautiful cards to my door, and have allowed me to be 100% myself, while contributing to my family.
I have turned down tens of thousands of dollars, BECAUSE I don’t want people to think I’m a sell-out. Here are just some of the offers I turned down this month...
I know I don’t need to (and probably shouldn’t) show you this but THIS, this right here is why it bugs me when people send hate mail and leave nasty comments. I always say no, I am trying to get by, not get rich, which is why I have kept it at only two companies.
I have changed, in many ways. I have learned as I go, grown, and tried my best, to make the most of my second chance at life.
If you think I’m different or want to unfollow me – then by all means, hit the button. My true supporters understand me, and my heart, and they are the ones I am concerned with.
Things are moving at a rapid pace, and I’m gratefully trying to keep up. I am a wife and mother first, and a content creator next. I will continue creating content until someone kicks me off the internet, or I am no longer able to provide for my family while doing what I love.
I am so grateful to everyone who has stuck by me, and who see my true intentions and goals. I look forward to what the future has in store, and am honored to have those of you who “get me”, alongside me for this journey <3
I love you all so much, and appreciate the love and support more than you will ever know!!!!
PS…I’M GOING ON EFFING TOUR, DUDDDDDE!!!!!!!
YOU GO GIRL !!!!
I love your heart, your transparency is rare in a world of fake social media masks. Keep doing what you do, share your heart because to someone us it is our whole world.
You’re amazing! Keep up the good work ?
Keep up the good work… haters will hate and thats their loss. Be authentically you always. We love you ?
I sent you a very desperate email in September. You did answer me and thanks to you, I didn’t let my relapse put me back into full-blown addiction. Your words were my strength when my son was there.(My biggest trigger, that kid)
Thank you for taking the time to comfort me.
I love you double.
Thanks. You’re awesome.
Ive got tears in my eyes as i read this… Thank you. Always remember you really do matter ?
Thank you. This makes me happy
Great article ( to the people…)
I am 70 and you have brought joy. Laugh. Wisdom to my life. Thanks so much. You have made me laugh. Cry. Smile.
You’re the best.
You do you. Screw the haters. Have you ever thought of hiring an “intern” to help with your social media accounts? They could take a huge load off of you. Just a thought.
You are sooo freakin awesome!!!!!
Tiffany you are so AWESOME and I truly appreciate everything you are doing. So many people have been helped including me by how honest and REAL you are. So I am writing this just to say THANK YOU AND I LOVE THE PERSON YOU ARE. Keep being you and please try not to worry about the people who don’t have much of a life and they find it necessary to dog other people. I THINK YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION , YOU GO GIRL love ya
P.S I can’t wait till the end of October when you come to Nashville Tn I have tickets ?????????
You go girl !!!! You got this , do not let the haters get to you !
Love you. Come to Minnesota
Well done. We all have to pay the bills. I feel ya.
And this is why I love you & all you do. Keep up the good work – don’t beat yourself up. Sadly, more people need help than you are physically capable of.
Make money dam it!! I think your worth s lot more than you think. You can pick and choose what is good for your family! Take care and keep on laughing! ??
Damn straight!! You’re priceless and deserve every good thing that has come your way while entertaining millions of us ordinary folks who need you to relate to and know we are not alone!! I love you like I know you!! I’ve told you before and I will tell you again, THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!
Your fine. Enjoy some success . There will always be Haters. Let them sip there Hatorade. You Cannot make everyone happy . Just do you. Your have made me laugh so much. It’s a beautiful thing ???
STILL LOVE YA! You’re not getting rid of me that easily.
You crack me up! I am not a drug addict nor am I an alcoholic, and maybe I don’t even belong in your page, but my husband recently passed away. I was sad and bored and scrolling the internet and caught one of your videos. I nearly peed my pants. You are hysterical, loving, and a real mother and ya know what. Even though I could not afford that effing box of stuff I bought one just because you put it out there. I gave it to my sons GF cause I’m not a girly girl, but the moral of the story is when God drops a gift in your lap don’t pass it up! You keep being you. You make people laugh. You help people who are ill get better and you are a fine example of what it is to be well pleased by God. You got this girl don’t let the silly people bring you down. Keep being you for all of us!
You’re amazing! Keep being YOU! 😉
I think you are AMAZING and hilarious. You have brightened so many of my days. EVERYONE grows and changes!! You do you, because I for one, think you are an inspiration!
There will always be ppl around to talk crap no matter how well you’re doing, or even when you fail… we love you in super Southern California 😀
You are amazing!!!! Just to see your face at the beginning of your videos already makes my day better! You do inspire and yes this is your calling !!! Take your own advice and do you – the wonderful beautiful YOU!!!
A-freaking-men Momma!
People will fight change, ALWAYS, regardless of what kind of change. Your life is NOT their life you live. You do a few sponsored ads to help support YOUR family and your kids and also enjoy what you do? Then so be it! Haters will hate, you’ll NEVER make everyone happy (yes I realize the irony of telling someone else this but never getting it through my own thick skull…lmao) so make YOU happy.
I for one, as a divorced “single”, and now laid-off for the second time this year, Momma of wonderful 7 year old boy, GREATLY appreciate your posts and videos. You’ve often reminded me that IT’S OKAY to not be perfect, have it all together, or even do more than keep my head above water! Anxiety and depression are NASTY to fight normally, add-in life stresses/kids/relationships/pets/houses/etc… and it could make anyone crazy. Thank you for the reminder that even on tyke days when I’m barely staying above water – I’m still above water and my best THAT day is still enough!
Tell the haters to SHOVE IT – the rest of us love you enough for them to GO ?.
P.S. If you seriously go on your – come to Raleigh, NC!!!
I love this?
You are about to go on tour. You are gonna be face to face with people. Where there are supporters there are haters. You do create a lot of happiness for the supporters and for the haters too. Cause now they have something to poke at. Don’t ever feel like you owe anybody an explanation. The videos should be mainly for your happiness. Don’t give power to the haters. Just smile and nod.
Screw the haters. You are a mom and wife first, and your family has to eat, right?
Growth and change is a good thing. Who wants to be the same all the time anyhow?
Also, I’m totally down to help you out with social media/email messages/whatever? if you need me to. Let me know!
Also also…. Duuuude I’ll see you in Denver! I am SO STOKED and can’t wait!
You got this girl. No explanations needed. ??
I honestly don’t know where to begin. Thank you for making me smile and laugh. My life has been turned upside down with my adult son who has special needs and Recently moved back home after a failed attempt in rehab. He has a section 8 voucher but there is nothing available anywhere. I am a retired driver at ups of 32 yrs. and find myself doing a part time job just to get out of the house for some peace. I look forward to your videos and your silliness, please don’t stop! There are people out here that look forward to seeing your positive messages to help us get through the day! Don’t stop doing what you do!!!????????
I love you Tiffany! I find myself wishing I could somehow block out the negative comments that you get. People can be so awful! But I hope you know how much your true supporters love you. Forever and always!
Hey Tif..so glad your coming to Wichita. I can’t wait to see you. I have some advice for you . Like yourself I to was consumed by what other people thought of me and then poof, like overnight my I don’t give a rats ass what anyone thinks about me switch just came on. It came on around 40 I am 52 now and loving my life and that burden was lifted off of me 12 years ago. I have learned to hold my head high live my life for myself and my family. Keep goin Tif haters gonna hate and you can’t fix everybody’s problems and don’t let the few come between you and your millions of fans. We love you stay true to yourself.
Every time I feel overwhelmed and afraid, I rewatch the video about being “in recovery, meet my friends”. It was the first one I saw, and it’s my go-to for inspiration. Every video you do is funny, poignant, or inspiring. I’m a real, true way that has meaning for so many people. I can only say that you may have people who aren’t happy with their lives and choose to take it out on you. I also believe that you’ll find it in your heart to to give them. Because that’s who you are. And, I, for one, am very grateful that you are that person.
I hate that people try to tear down those who are succeeding. I am so proud of you and what you have accomplished, and I dont even know you. Please continue to keep up the work, dont let anyone steal your joy. Thank you for everything you have done to help those with addiction and those in recovery,
(Both families of and recovering addicts). You and Meredith crack me up! I hope to catch you on tour. Lots of love to you!
You owe no explanation to ANYONE that’s for sure! But, because you are an amazing and very awesome person you put this out there by addressing it. Some People are always going to try to knock a person down or make horrible comments about them because they are unhappy in their own lives. That’s their problem. You are absolutely an inspiration to so many! You make me laugh
( ugly laugh…snorting and all sometimes…) Everyone needs to laugh especially in this day and age. You are real, honest and true and many of us Moms can definitely relate to you on many levels. You make fun of life because so many people are just too darn serious! Keep on being true to you lady! I look forward to and enjoy every video you post. Some days it helps me to function better because I don’t feel alone in my everyday mistakes. We are Moms…we make them! I truly think you are amazing!
I haven’t started yet because i’m not sure how but I want to make youtube videos and be able to express myself like you do i’m a stay at home mom as well and I tell you what you are a strong and brave woman and I will always be here till the end my sister.
You found your gift! Just for your sake, I hope you can find a spiritual peace by taking a few minutes to read a devotional and pray. I want the best for you.
Tiffany, I first saw your video when you were trying the lip stain peel stuff-I laughed til I cried- I then saw more and learned more.I think there are so very many affected by addiction -themselves or a family member/friend-that you have given us some hope .Do not feel bad for being able to do something that you love ,that can make a difference,and can also help your own family. Congratulations on the tour !!You have given me hope for my son -thank you for that!?
You. Are. AMAZING. Dont stop, ever, please. And dont let the trolls online ruin it for the rest of us. I love your videos, sponsored or not and will never unfollow you.
First if all, you are a fantastic human being. There will ALWAYS be miserable a-holes making negative comments, no
matter what you say or do. Soooo, know that and ignore that! Because there are FAR MORE people that adore you! And, you kind of have to feel sorry for and pity those miserable souls. They are jealous of your success, plain and simple. And they must really hate themselves, too. Don’t let them bring you down!! Please! Don’t give them an ounce of your energy and continue to focus on you and your family and how blessed you are in this life! We ? you!
People are turds. Keep scrolling haters!
We love you!
You are freaking awesome and this is for sure your calling. I’ve been watching and laughing / relating for quite a while. Chokes me up that you’ve lost sleep over the pressure to please all (impossible) and the negativity of the haters. You deserve every bit of good that comes your way. Now, deep breath and let it go lady. So much good ahead for you and your family! ??
Girl, do what is right for you and your family! There’s no shame for making money doing what you l love.
Come to the northwest when you tour!!
Once it stops being fun it becomes a job. I love your stuff. I hope you keep at it.
That is an insane amount of emails. I think people forget that you are a real person with real feeling and real anxiety. You have such a talent for making people laugh. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. As far as companies I think you could even add in a couple more. There is no way you are a sellout. I bought from Grove because I like the way you advertised it.
And you know what? I learned something about trees and TP when I watched your video. I’m praying that you sleep well tonight. The best revenge is living a good life. Live it the best you can.
You are awesome !!You are real! you bring a smile to my darkest days ! Screw haters ! they will always be there !! much love from Nova Scotia,Canada!
God bless you and your family. Take care of you and keep doing what makes YOU happy! And if you can get companies to pay you for what you love doing, all the better. I will never understand why, as women, we don’t hold each other up more. Hold each other tighter. Give support and not bring each other down. Those that will try to bring you down have their own issues. Try to ignore them and shine on my friend! You are inspiring so many people! The rest don’t matter at all. Hope to catch your show one day! You make me laugh, help me reflect and make me want to be a better person. Thank you!
So many people feel entitled to you, your content, your support, your advice, your humour, your ‘for real’. We should be asking nothing of you. I am a mom of two, and I have so little to give others it’s almost funny. If I can find special, small ways, to connect with my, relative to yours, small community- GrEat! But if not- that means my kids and my husband or my own soul are getting some support, energy and love- good. Amen. We don’t need anything from you- you have already offered up so much. We need to fill you up, not be draining you. If there is a company out there that helps grow your resources or capacity to care for your circle of influence- awesome!
Tiffany!!! Thank you for sharing. I understand where you are coming from as far as not wanting to take every offer that comes your way and how that could look as a sellout. GIRL! Take the opportunities!!! Become a MILLIONAIRE! God has opened this door for you to add value to people’s lives. You’re worth every penny that comes your way.
And, OF COURSE YOU ARE CHANGING! Who wouldn’t change when instant fame suddenly hits your door??? Embrace it, girl. Run with it! Let it change you and mold you into the BEST woman you were meant to be! Many many blessings! You ROCK!
As a casual follower, I say girl go get paid, get paid good. Nothing wrong with providing for your family. Noone has stopped watching movies, sport games or reality tv because those people get paid and some get paid millions.
I’m thankful for your humor and openess. I’m thankful that you took the time to make honest statements.
And you’re 100% right if someone doesn’t like a video, skip it and go to another one.
You’ve accomplished so much in such a short time. You’ve become an inspiration to others. You’ve thought a lot of people a lot of valuable things!
What’s MOST IMPORTANT, is that you’ve done all those things for your children as well! Slow down, be the best mommy you can be, and enjoy every SINGLE moment, because wow does time fly! I feel for you, trying to juggle (no pun intended) all of these things on top of the world of motherhood, but I also applaud you. You’re a wonderful person and although like you said you really don’t owe anyone an explanation, I’m glad you could take the time to put your life in perspective for the ones who don’t understand. You are truly an amazing person Tiffany! Keep spreading the love, but on your terms. The ones who understand that are the ones worth keeping around ??
Girlfriend! Keep doing you! You are real, hilarious and honest. I’ll see you in Denver and I MUST know what your first video was!!??!! Your makeup tutorial was the first I watched and I laughed with tears running down my face, then shared it with my dearest gal pals. You can’t please everyone so just work towards pleasing you and yours ??????
You shouldn’t have to limit yourself for strangers. Some people just don’t ‘get it’. You are a PERSON, not a company, you’re not selling services, you’re PROVIDING them for free! Humor, advice, connection, sense of togetherness.. You’re like Ellen’s little sister. ? I get the empathy stuff. It’s a blessing and a curse. If you think a product is good or helpful, you SHOULD hook up with them! We’re more likely to check it out if a “real” person shows it to us! ? Especially they way you would? I’m sure we’d all love to make some money and maybe let our husbands be able to work less?
It’s your journey….
what are you gonna do with yours.
Of course you’ve changed. You’re a beautiful, amazing, kind, funny, work in progress. You’re a perfectly imperfect human. I subscribed to Grove Creative (I think that’s what it’s called) the other day not because of the products but because I wanted to support YOU. The You you are now and the You you will become tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. The YOU I believe in. #Hatersgonnahate Leave them to their bad energy, Tiffany. Allow yourself to just do what you do. On your terms. The terms that are best for you and your family. And if one day it’s just too much? Set your bags down and walk away from it all.
You’re a warrior and a survivor. Live your life on your terms and make no excuses or apologies for the ways you go about doing the good that you do.
I wish you well.
Karin
Tiffany, what an inspiration you are to others. I love
your videos and especially your sense of humor! I really
love it when you and your sister do videos together!
Both of you are so hilarious!!
I lost a nephew at the young age of 35 to a heroin overdose.
May I say you have helped me to understand more of
what it was like for him to keep doing this, as much as
I tried to help him by listening to him and spending as
much time as I could with him. I would take him out on
occasion to have a good hot meal, but would not give
him money as I knew he would use it to get his fix. It
would tear my heart out when I wouldn’t hear from
him for weeks at a time. I finally broke down and got
him a pre-paid phone just so I could touch base with
him when I would not hear from him. I told him when
I bought it, that he would have to go to work and give
me the money to continue adding minutes to his phone.
He did, and that told me he was was trying to be
responsible. Anyway, he had been in a rehab facility
for 3 weeks and he was released on May 27th, 2016 and he overdosed on Saturday, May 28th, 2016. This devastated
me. I did not know what to think. He was found in an
alley. Whoever was with him had emptied his wallet
except for his license so he could be identified. His
death still bothers me to this day.
I am sorry to rattle on as I know you are very busy
with e-mail. Even if you are not able to read the
whole post, I was able to release some of my thoughts
of him.
Thank you for all you do and for helping me to smile
once again. Tiffany, I love you and please continue to
make us all smile, laugh out loud, pee our pants from
laughter, etc.. May God continue to bless you in this
journey that He has blessed you and your family with!
Big Hugs!!!