Trigger Warning – Death of a loved one.
I wanted to update everyone on where things are in my life, but I also feel like I want to keep most of it private and close to my heart. I will try to word this in a general sense, rather than speak specifically about my relationship with those involved.
The word “hospice” never fails to send a chill down my spine. It’s so much more than losing a loved one. It’s tear-soaked eyes, hushed voices, unanswered questions, anger, exhaustion, prolonged emotional agony, wondering, wishing……..Waiting.
My first encounter with hospice was when my grandmother was sick with cancer. I was in my early twenties and had gone to visit her. I remember laughing as she pointed the television remote toward the large glass window on the opposite side of the room, mumbling incoherently about the television being broken. I thought she was being silly, but when I noticed that no one else in the room found it as amusing as I had, I realized that somehow in the span of two days, she’d forgotten what a television was.
My mother explained that she was comfortable and at the end of her life, so very soon she would no longer be able to speak. She comforted me by reminding me that my grandfather, as well as my paternal grandmother would be waiting to welcome her at the gates of Heaven. She urged me to talk to her and say what I wanted to say before it was too late. It felt awkward and uncomfortable…So I didn’t.
Less than a year later, I stood beside the bed of my 47-year-old mother as she drew her last breath. This was my second encounter with hospice. Cancer had taken her at an offensively early age and a startlingly short time. On her last day I opened my mouth to say all the things I needed to say to her before she was gone, but the words wouldn’t come out. At this point I was hopelessly addicted to drugs and unsure of what to say. I wasn’t there for my mother during her sickness and couldn’t “bear” to see her in such a frail state. So, I stayed away.
I’ve forgiven myself for most of the things I’ve done while on drugs, but my lack of action during this time she needed me most is unforgivable–for now anyway.
Six years later, I was sober and present for my father as he laid in the hospice bed, resting peacefully at the end of his life. He had waited for all of us to leave the building before he took his final breath, but we were lucky enough to hold his hand afterward and say goodbye. I imagine he was already drifting to his next destination at this point, but it still felt healing to kiss his forehead one last time.
I hadn’t once managed to say the things I needed to–or should have said. I never wanted to have those conversations with them because it would be acknowledging the fact that they were dying. So instead, we had surface-level conversations and danced around the giant elephant in the room. When they were gone, they were gone and all that remained were all the unspoken words that will forever live in my mind with no place to go.
My mother had met and married a man when I was nine years old. He was a police officer, and my sister and I lived with him and my mother full time. He stepped up to raise us when my father wasn’t able to. He was there for my fifth-grade graduation, my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak. He drove me back and forth to my first job, cheerleading practices and cooked my date and I a delicious meal before the homecoming dance. He taught me how to drive a car, cook a killer egg sandwich, and most importantly, how to love another person’s children as if they were my own.
After my mother passed away, My stepfather eventually remarried and decided to retire from the police force and move to a lakehouse in Georgia. He allowed my family and I to move into the home he was leaving behind here–for next to nothing. He just wanted to know we were safe.
He has a name, but from the time they were born my children called him grandpa. I’m sure my father and mother wouldn’t have minded, but even if they had, I wouldn’t have been able to get the kids to call him anything else. They adore him. We visit him at the lakehouse often and have created some memories that will last a lifetime.
As I stood by his hospice bed this week, holding his hand and making jokes to lighten the somber mood in the house, I decided to do something different than I’d ever done.
The words flew from my lips with urgency and determination. I thanked him for all of the things he had done for me over the past 27 years. I promised him my children would know him, assured him we would keep his memory alive, and told him beautifully personal, sacred and special things that I won’t share here. He responded, “Take care of my grandbabies for me”, and many other heartbreakingly moving things that I may not have gotten to hear if we hadn’t had this conversation. We acknowledged the truth about what was happening with him and cried together for a bit before he drifted back to sleep.
My tears were not tears of sadness. They were tears of joy and peace. For the first time in my life I was able to leave nothing left unsaid with someone I cared deeply about… before I missed the chance.
I’m sure my mother was there to meet him with open arms yesterday when he left, and by now he has probably told her all about how silly, loving and adorable her grandkids are.
Experiencing loss changes a person forever. Experiencing the loss of most of my core family members puts me in a strange position. At times I feel lost, uprooted, orphaned, alone and heartbroken. But I know my family wouldn’t want me to cease existing in their absence.
So, I will continue to march on, telling everyone I love how much I love them as often as I can. I will always say the things that need to be said and give the compliments that need to be given. I’m going to drop the people who bring me anything other than peace and joy, and love those remaining folks as fiercely and urgently as I can.
This post was mainly a way for me to get my thoughts out onto paper, but also, I suppose, a gentle reminder to surround yourself with people who bring you joy, tell them how wonderful they are as often as you can, and never, ever, ever, feel embarrassed or ashamed to say what you feel to the people you love while you can.
Thank you for your patience with me as I navigate this season of my life.
I am so proud of you and the growth you just showed! Yes, you have been sober for a while and that is commendable in and of it’s self but what you did by sharing your feelings and putting yourself out there to discuss, admit and accept a hard truth is something past you not only wouldn’t have done but couldn’t have done. I hope that even in this very hard time you can look at that win and be proud. I’m sure your bonus father realized it and knowing that you chose to deal with and confront your feelings and emotions instead of hide them or numb them gave him the relief that you are going to be okay without him. You now, through all your therapy and rehabs have the tools to do this on your own. Yes you will always work at it but being able to confront your feeling and emotions and express and share them is a HUGE step!! I am very sorry about your families loss. Look for signs of him visiting in a few months. Their soul takes time to really commit to being on the other side and get their bearings but he will visit. Ur children may even see him if they are young enough. You will smell him or see something to make u think of him. If that happens just know that’s him looking over you. God bless you all
Thank you for sharing that with us. Your rawness, your honesty and your integrity shine through even in times of sadness yet celebration of a life well lived. Be proud m’lady as you know he was of you.
You are amazing and brave and I thank you with my entire heart for sharing your story. I have beengoing through these same things recently. I am currently going through cancer treatment myself. My heartaches for my children and I pray they have peace and closure when it is my time to meet the lord and my loved one in heaven. I greatly appreciate you and your hinest story more than I can express in words. You are amazing and I admire your strength and your accomplishments you have endured and that your presence on social media. You are making a difference. Thank you..🙏💗😚
I am not good with words but I feel you.
My older sister is in the final stages of Alzheimer’s at only 63 years old.
It is a long slow painful goodbye.
My heart aches for you.
I am glad you had that talk with your bonus dad.
My dad is turning 85 in July and I dread the thought of him leaving us one day.
I have needed to cry for a long time but the tears were stuck.
While reading your post I cried. I am still crying, for you, for me, for anyone who is losing someone, or has lost someone.
I’m not good with words, but I feel you xx
SOOO beautifully written and REAL, Tiffany! Thank u for sharing, Beaytiful sister.
Blessings to u always!💜
Thank you for sharing. I lost an Uncle yesterday and am feeling sad that I kept thinking once the weather was nice we would visit, well now it’s too late.
Tiff – I haven’t been able to afford Patreon these last several months, but for a time, I could. You gave me so much laughter, comfort, peace, and still do. I can only pray for that for you now. I’m so sorry for this most recent loss you and your family are going through, though I know part of you is relieved he isn’t hurting any longer. Your words speak alot to me, as someone who learned 11 years ago with the loss of my best friend and her baby girl that I HAVE to say what people mean to me all the time, not just when I know it’s the last chance I’ll get, because none of us know the hour or the day we’ll be leaving this world. I love you and those “grandbabies” and am praying for your sister and stepmother as well. Praying that God sends peace and comfort for the tears and pain you’re feeling. We all love you, and you have so many, many people speaking your name to Him, pleading for His grace.
I am sorry for your loss. The loss of a loved one is never an easy time in one’s life. The saying “Time heals all wounds” is not applicable when it comes to losing someone who shaped your life in so many ways. I think Time just softens the pain, but it never truly heals. Grieve as much as needed. There is nothing wrong with that.
Tiffany, you truly said everything I “think” about! Your words are beautiful and very meaningful. I’ve lost both my parents also and hospice took care of my Dad until he passed 3 days later. Hospice seems so final but at the time I never knew exactly HOW final it was…I miss my parents so much but have wonderful memories. I still laugh and cry about things in the past. You sharing your thoughts to us was very difficult but I thank God you were able to do this. My condolences to you sweet girl…I know your parents are so proud of you and where you’re at in your life now! God Bless you and your family❤
Bless you and your family at this time. Today I received a sign from my mom for 9 years. I strongly believe that they will always reach out to you when they can, regardless how long they have been gone. Just know he will always be around somehow and there will be times he will give you a sign. Today was the gentle scent of her that past through me as I stood up. There will be many times you will feel the same. I find it a blessing. Im sure you will too. Prayers dear one on this journey with your children and the rest of your family. You are strong and I appreciate you putting your words in writing for all of us to be on this journey with you.
Love you Tiffany 🙏
Wow!!! You have been through so much. From losing 4 key people in your life. I get that road. It’s bumpy as hell. I lost paternal grandparents, dad, brother, mom, 2 favorite aunts. 2 family pets. I understand your feeling of loss and emptiness. Take each day as it comes. A new sunrise. A blank slate. A deep breathe. Say the words you feel. Be strong. Be proud. Those who have left this earth have you precious knowledge and love. Share this with those around you. You are strong. Your are beautiful. You are worthy. 💖
So sorry for your loss but so grateful your children got to love this amazing man who meant so much to you. 💜
I empathize, as having been made the Matriarch of our family at the ripe old age of 44. I am always proud of your sobriety, but to finally be able to say what you really, really wanted to say is a blessing. Both to you and to your stepfather. To know your blessings is special, and you know the bounty. Having depression sometimes gets in the way of seeing those blessings, but fortunately they are still there when the dark days lighten up. Good luck my dear.
I FEEL this exact same way….we try to fix things with humor but when it’s all said and done we are left with unresolved feelings. Thanks for the share! Keep your head up!
My father passed away last month….he had significant interpersonal difficulties that made it difficult to interact with him in the day to day.. The last two years I reached out after a silence of nearly 30 years. I did try to talk to him about Jesus; after that medical procedure the insecure force upon the vulnerable, he bore the consequence …The day before his last day, I was 2000 miles away with an alienated relative holding the phone to his ear.. I encouraged him to trust Lord Jesus Christ. I pray every day that he has accepted Jesus, and that my mom had too. That makes the whole mess and trauma of life ok. This time on Earth is a like a moment in time when compared to all of eternity.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with multiple losses in your life.I hope Hospice was a support to you.As a Hospice nurse it is very insightful to see things from the patient’s loved ones point of view.There is nothing more I can say than how deeply sorry I am for you.
you have had alot of loss in your life….we all deal differently with these life experiences….in the past you had no control over yourself….glad you were able to say what was true in your heart…recovery in a loss is a life time of healing .sending positive thoughts ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and reminding us how important it is to say the important stuff to the people that really matter before it’s too late. I have several phone calls to make over the next few days. ❤️
This is by far the best words of comfort and truth that I have read. It acknowledges how far Jen has truly come. I’m sure she received great comfort reading this. Bless her. We all love her! 💖 A reply to Adriennes comment on April 15th.
Hi honey so sorry for your loved ones passing an those of you left behind with forever memories💔. You probably don’t really remember me but I do you and so happy for the wonderful life you have chosen to live.. You are beautiful inside & out and I am sure they all are looking down saying how proud they are of you! Keep it up momma!💞
Adrienne, that was well said. I just lost my son to a car accident back in December. I would have never even thought about a person’s soul having to adjust but you saying that somehow enlightened me. I don’t know why but thank you.
Tiffany, I am so sorry for your loss. My FIL passed away 2 weeks ago and I was very thankful that we were able to say goodbye. We live in Texas, he is in New York. He passed away the morning after we said our goodbyes. I believe that is what he was waiting for. To get to say goodbye to all of his kids. He really could not speak, his mind knew what he wanted to say but his mouth could not say the words. The only worlds that we heard him clearly say was I love you and goodbye.
I wish I could have said that to my son. The last time I saw him was Christmas morning. I’m thankful I at least got one last Christmas day with him.
Beautifully, perfectly said!
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I admire the strength and courage it takes to share these words…you are an amazing gift and I cannot even begin to estimate the number of people you strengthen, support and encourage by sharing you life and experiences.. bless you and your family. Keeping you all in thought and prayer..
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Peace and love!💕
Thank you for sharing. I needed to hear these words and greatly appreciate you.
So much – so much. You touched my heart. I love watching you – love you! So this was a heart wrenching read that left me of a deep appreciation of what a fabulous person you are. Thank you and may God bless and keep you.
I understand not being able to speak when being faced with the death of a loved one. I was at a loss of words when my mom was passing and could only say I love you and it’s okay for you to go. 😢 thank you for sharing so that we all aren’t alone in it and for showing that in the future maybe I will be able to find the words when faced with death again.
Please just know how much you are loved!
Thank you so much for sharing this- I feel like I could have written this myself- my dad passed 12 years ago and my Gammie passed in 2018, at 102 yes old, and my mom passed last November after watching her deteriorate for the last 5 yrs- and now I’m orphaned. It’s a weird realization. Because I live a long way away, I was not able to be at bedsides to have to use conversations- until mom. I was with her prior to her passing- knowing it was coming- and tried to say all the things. She, unfortunately, had difficulty talking and responding, but I was able to say many things- I hope she understood. So, I feel ya. Life is hard- it gets away from us sometimes- then we are left with the difficult realization of finality and that we can’t go back- so we can only go forward and try better the next time- the next opportunity. Bless you-
Thank you for sharing your life with us. My mom passed away in December of 2005 by the time I got to the hospital it was to late to tell her how I felt. I miss her so much. My dad passed away in October of 2021and I wasn’t there by his side when he passed. My heart is so broken 💔. But I do have some good memories of them 💕. Sorry for your losses Tiffany.
God bless you as you navigate this difficult road. I will be holding you up in prayer my dear sweet lady. 😢💔🙏
You sure have grown since your book i recently read. I feel sure that the ones you were not able to share your feelings knew that and accepted that sometimes your humor is your defense mechanism. I’ve been told that before.
What a special man that could love you, etc. the way he did. That is true love. He couldn’t fake that.
I’m praying that God gives you a peace that surpasses all understanding!
Wow!!! You have been through so much. From losing 4 key people in your life. I get that road. It’s bumpy as hell. I lost paternal grandparents, dad, brother, mom, 2 favorite aunts. 2 family pets. I understand your feeling of loss and emptiness. Take each day as it comes. A new sunrise. A blank slate. A deep breathe. Say the words you feel. Be strong. Be proud. Those who have left this earth have you precious knowledge and love. Share this with those around you. You are strong. Your are beautiful. You are worthy. 💖
Thank you for sharing all of this as I know the words needed to leave your heart as mine do when something touches it so deeply! I have followed you for years and I just wanted to say you are an amazing woman with so many gifts and I know that you are guided by some beautiful angels that will only take you farther. No words can take away the heart breaks but find comfort that a complete stranger to you just said a prayer for you 🙂 Hugs!
I am so sorry for your loss and pray for you and your family to get through this with peace and beautiful memories. So glad you found a way to say things that were in your heart and pray you will forgive yourself one day for the times when you just could not, for whatever reason my dear. Sending prayers for peace love and strength for you all. Love you❤️
Whoa, does this hit way too cost to home right now. I lost my father at 18yrs old. Currently I’m fighting through one hell of an addiction to drugs. I got a literal text message informing me that my mother was in the icu & had been for the past 9 weeks. Nobody told me. My sister & step father have my number. Still they didn’t tell me. I found out through text from a random person friends with my sister. My mother was in a coma after being found unresponsive. She needed part of her intestines removed, 2 hernias repaired, & several abscesses removed from her abdominal cavity & around her ostomy site on her stomach. She was septic & things didn’t look good. I was so caught up in my addiction that I had no clue how serious things were happening in my absence. I’m heartbroken my own family didn’t care to tell me what was happening. Were they going to spite me by waiting until she passed away & I didn’t get to say goodbye? I’m literally devastated to feel so insignificant. I don’t ask for anything from them, so, there’s really no excuse to not tell me my mom could potentially be dying. They had 2 months to lmk. There’s no reason other than to punish & spite me for being an addict. I’m thankful she’s taking a turn for the better. She’s awake & responsive. I spoke to her for the first time yesterday. Tbh she’s all I really have. The only person who’s love is truly unconditional. Even if she’s disappointed or disproving of my current predicament. Had I lost her too without being able to say my peace, just like my father who passed unexpectedly, I’m not so sure I’d survive that. My mother is my biggest critic, yet my biggest supporter. My world even if we don’t always see eye to eye because of my choices.
I’m so sorry for the long ramble. Your situation really hits so close to my heart right now. I’m so sorry for the losses you’ve endured, proud for your growth, and admire your courage to share & preserver through the darkness & focus on the light at the end. If I could find just an ounce of your strength I just might make it out of this addiction alive & be able to spend quality time with my mother. To make memories that’ll stand the test of time.
Your truly an inspirational person & you deserve to forgive yourself & celebrate your wins over adversity. I’m sure your loved ones on the other side are proud of the amazing woman you are. I know I am. I wish I could find the same strength within myself to face the long sleepless nights, the cold sweats, the muscle spams, etc on top of the daily struggle with my autoimmune disease. That’s the only thing holding me back. I’m terrified of feeling the daily pain again. Scared I can’t cope. I know others do, but I’m admittedly quick to do whatever it takes to feel relief, not deal with the pain I’ve been dealt. You’re life gives me life. You’re a role model to so many ppl. Myself included. This might be a stormy time, but you’ll make it to the sunshine. You’ve got this! 💕
I’m going through this right now. My dad just went onto hospice and my mom passed two years ago. Thanks for sharing your story and reminding me of how I’m not alone in this painful process of losing a dear loved one. Once they are gone, you can’t ask them any more questions. I love getting advice from my elders. My dad was sober in recovery for 48 years. I’m so proud of him and I need to tell him. I’ve been taking care of him for the past two years and I’m grateful for that time of showing him my grace. 🙏🏽
Thank you for opening yourself up and sharing this with us. I lost my mother to cancer when she was 44. I am now 47 and there are days I feel kind of guilty for outliving her. It’s weird but it hits me like that every now and then. I didn’t make it to her bedside at hospice in time for her last breath and that is a regret that I will always have. I lost my dad unexpectedly when he was 63 (next week will be 8 years ago), luckily I was able to be right by his bedside for his last breath. And then I most recently lost my grandma (it will be 4 years in August), who was just like a mother to me all those years after my mom (her daughter) died. I didn’t get to give her an official goodbye before she passed. I found out after she passed that she already made her arrangements and did not want a funeral at all. She just wanted to be buried with her husband. Everything was already paid for and planned. That broke my heart. I don’t know why but it did. I always make sure I tell people I love how much they mean to me every time I see them now. I never say goodbye without them knowing that I love them, especially my children.
God bless you. Your strength is amazing. So glad you had good closure for your step dad. What a wonderful role model he is as and that is part of why you are the good person you are today. Take care of yourself.
💜 l am so sorry for your loss and commend you for opening up your feelings and thoughts to your step Dad. I am pleased you were able to say what you wanted to say this time. You’re a legend and a true inspiration lovely 💜
I am so sorry for yours and families loss.
I want to thank you for sharing your words.
Will put you and your family in my prayers.
Wow just wow! My heart is there with u and u are an amazing soul. My condolences as I pray for peace
Death can teach us many things. When my father died in hospice, I learned, if you have a question, ask it. You many not get another chance. When my mother died in her sleep, I learned, hug while you can. You many not get another chance. When my nephew died, of a heroin overdose, I learned, if you can reach out to a person in desperate need, DO IT. You may not get another chance. Such tough lessons. I repeat these things to my children often. I’m so happy you learned such an important lesson and were able to say the things you could. Sending hugs and love to you ❤️
You share was brave. Those whom walked into your life and stood vigilant were also brave and are to be commended. Equally losing them is difficult. You can forgive yourself for your mom by changing and you have met that mark. Without those happenings your today might be different. I’m positive she knew of your compassion and love and I think parents know when they are dying the kids recoil for self preservation and not because of drugs. No one wants to believe our most cherished are leaving and avoidance is common. I’m sure that’s how she saw it. It’s ok. You are stronger wiser and better all for it. At the end of the day as long as you do your best and strive for improving others and yourself you have internal peace and grace. Tug on the ear to ya, we got each other. Take your time. Ease in when your ready and when your bored. ❤️🙏 your clan, like neighborhood hide and seek players will wait. Best to you precious one who is taking the time to remember the delicate balance of life. 😘
Tiffany, you inspire me in so many ways and when I have felt like giving up, you remind me how much there is left to live for. I’m so grateful for the laughter, tears, and awareness you have had the courage to share with the world. Your videos have kept me going and your memoir these past several months especially. My 44 year old husband has terminal colon cancer and transitioned from palliative care to hospice several months ago. The depression and grief threaten to take me out of a broken heart, but I try to stay strong and try to show my husband that I will somehow be okay one day. Every day is agonizing torture but then something will happen and we will giggle and reminisce together and for even a few minutes we can forget about the C word, hospice, and the pain, and try to live in the moment. It’s so hard to be a younger couple (35 and 44) and to be going through this. Thank you for your courage and candor and sending love always💙
A Queen never wears a crown, she wears a heart that never truly breaks. Grief is one of the trickiest things I ever navigated through. You are real, and this day in age it’s a breath of fresh air to be able to relate. Take your time and walk as slow as you need. Time doesn’t exist, but the emptiness of loss will always be with us, be aware of letting love fill that back up.❤️ Your amazing.
Oh Tiffany , I am so sorry for you and your families loss. We just lost my Mom in January and my Dad two years prior. Tears are running down my cheeks for you because I know the heart wrenching pain you are felling right now. You saying being an orphan really got to me because that exactly what I say about myself and it hurts to my core every time I think of it. Hold your babies & Husband extra tight and please allow yourself all the time you need to morn and grieve. Sending my love to you and your dear family from one broken hearted orphan to another. ♥️♥️♥️
Thank you for sharing your evolutionary emotional story. Such heartbreak but also growth. You have such great strength within as evidenced by making people laugh and bringing joy in others lives. Praying for you and your family.
You have such a beautiful soul, Tiffany. It’s ok to sit in the shadows until the light comes. We learn so much in the darkness. We are here to hold you until you’re ready to emerge again ❤️
Thank you for sharing this! Your words have helped me with the guilt I have for not saying everything I should have said to my dad before he passed. It’s so difficult to watch loved ones die; acknowledging it when we speak to them is gut wrenchingly painful. But those few moments of heartache are worth the months, years of regret. Again, thank you for sharing!
I am so sorry for the loss of your 2nd Father. Our stories are so similar, your words brought so many emotions and tears to my eyes! I am so glad you were able to get the chance to say everything. Although you will still mourn your loss, it will not me with regret. I will keep you in my prayers during this journey.
I am sorry for your loss but so glad you had the conversations that you wanted, I am sure you were a blessing to him at that time. You are an inspiration for thousands of people keep being you! Much love and respect, God bless your family.
I’m holding you in my heart as you continue to help me and so many others on our journeys. Peace and love
My heart goes out to you and I am so sorry for your loss. I read this through my tears because I am in the somewhat early stages of hospice with my own mother, diagnosed with cancer in Dec. of 2021. Due to the grim prognosis she is choosing to forego treatment and enjoy the remainder of her days. We are definitely making the most of the time we have with her now. Please know how much your words have helped me through a difficult day. You are truly an inspiration to those you have touched. Sending my prayers.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message. It made me cry, and it continues. I’m distant from my mom although she is kind, she is surrounded by toxic family so I keep my distance. I felt your message at my core and I want to be around the person I love and to converse with her and ask and tell, thank u, I’m sorry for all the pain u have gone through and thank you for choosing to condone love, laughter, genuineness and support, in spite of it, I imagine these special people where part of making that possible. Wishing peace and love to u and yours. Thank u so much.
Thank you for sharing your heart. I have been there for the passing of my Mom and Step-Dad and know about not being able to say everything that is one’s heart and I had big regret that I was unable to do so while they were alive. God continue to grant you peace, strength and joy in memories.
Proud of you ❣️
Thank you for sharing your heart. We lost my 51yo SIL on 12/26. So thankful we were able to say goodbye. The pain is immense.
I’m so sorry for you and your families loss
This touched my heart ❤️ in so many ways
Tiffany, I am hospice social worker and this post brought so many emotions to the surface and I had a good cry. Beautiful post thank you for opening up your heart and sharing. Simply love is the greatest gift we can give each other. 💕
Beautifully said, Tiffany. You’ve been an awesome daughter to your step-father, and clearly, you and your children brought him much joy in his lifetime. I hope that brings you comfort in this time of grieving. Because you are so compassionate yourself, you’ve got a lot of followers who are also caring and understanding. So, just take your time; take care of yourself; spend some quality time with your loved ones; spend some time alone; do what you need to do …and know that we will be here when you’re ready to return. Much love. Patty 💖
What an amazing tribute to your stepfather. My stepfather was the same for me – ALWAYS there when I needed anything and I felt more love and encouragement from him than I did either of my biological parents. What a blessing it is to have someone like that in your life. Keeping you and your family in my prayers because what you are going through is not easy.
You are a wonderful human. Your very core shines so bright. Thank you for allowing us into your life. Please keep your light on for all of us that need it. You are loved by so many. Healing and loving thoughts are being sent. Thank you oh so much. I needed this so so so bad.
Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. I am so terribly sorry that you’re going thru this right now and for your loss and losses. It does seem from reading that you have faith and are a believer. I’ll tell you that and my sister are what got me thru the kids of my mother. We’ve also lost our dad and our brother. Asking with all grandparents. I, like you know grief all too well. I’m so glad to know you were able to share all the things you left unsaid with the others with your step daddy. I could go on forever but I’ll just finish with I’m praying for you. And your family. Thank you for doing what you do. I love your videos. Especially the ones with your sister. They remind me of me and mine. Keep doing what you do when you’re ready. You make a difference and bring light into a darkening world. My tears right now and thoughts are with you. 💚
You put that so beautifully, as you usually do. Thank you for sharing such an intimate story . I’m sitting in the parking lot of hobby lobby weeping because I know I didn’t get to do it with my dad, either one of them. And I’m pretty sure I won’t get to do with my mom. That’s a sad story in itself. I hope you can produce yourself soon because you can only do what you can do. I couldn’t possibly have done it with my dad and I know I can’t do it with my mom even with 13 years of sobriety. I wish I could I could if she wanted to or wanted me to but I know she doesn’t so we’ll just leave it left Unsaid. But if you I’m so happy for it I could just feel the joy it brought you. what a relief to finally feel joy it is like that I’m so happy for you
Don’t “produce” yourself “forgive “yourself . Lol 😔
What a beautifully raw post! I am thankful for you and the gentle reminders you share with us.
I am fortunate that up until several months ago I never experienced a loss other than grandparents or aunts/uncles which don’t misunderstand, we’re painful enough. But then I lost my Dad. I still can’t breathe sometimes and even with my mom literally around the corner n my best friend I feel incredibly lost. I pray for you as you navigate yet another season in your life. Your beautiful and graceful and I know your surrounded by those that love you fiercely.
You need to write a book
This is beautifully spoken from the heart. I find myself teary-eyed reading these words because I also have a relationship similar to this with my stepfather. My siblings and I have a tattered relationship with our mother but the fact my stepfather keeps us all around is probably the sole reason I even have any relationship with my mother at all, albeit tense at times. I feel like I will one day fall apart when the day comes that his grandbabies suffer a loss of their most adored Grandad, my stepfather. He’s stepped up as my dad when my own dad couldn’t since I was 4. I feel for you and I’m so sorry your experiencing this loss. It hurts to just to imagine what you are going through.
With tears in my eyes..
that was beautiful.
May God comfort you in your grief.
Thank you Tiffany for sharing such a personal experience. My mother in law passed away yesterday wit hospice present. I have not seen her since Nov. even thought she live 5 mins away. I wanted to remember her as the strong willed, beautiful person she was, I don’t regret my decision. I’m husband is having nightmares because he was with her every day seeing her decline. My dad is going through cancer and I suspect he won’t have much time either. My sons addiction tore my family apart and I need to make amends before he’s gone. ❤️
You can do it my mom had dementia and schizophrenia so hardest thing I ever went through in my life
Nothing left unsaid are words to truly live by, with everyone in your life. I needed this reminder. Death is certain and for that reason we should try to have more conversations regarding it. Make the most of our time with our family and friends.
Sometimes it’s easier said than done. Thank you for sharing this difficult and beautiful piece of your life.
First off, I’m sorry for your loss. Secondly, I am sooooo proud of you for having the courage to not run away this time and to tell your loved one goodbye. I know that it wasn’t easy (at first) and glad you found some peace in doing so! You have grown so much since you found recovery! I’m so happy for you, Tiffany! I hope I get to meet you one day! Much Love Always, Kristen B from Buffalo NY 💕💕💕💕
Thank you for sharing! That was beautifully said…
❤️
Such beautiful words, perfectly articulated and I’m sure they resonate with so many of us.
You’re not just an incredibly funny, goofy, strong woman. Your heart is big, your words and powerful and sensitive. You have experienced, lived through, overcome and carried on more than most. Sending love 💕
My heart hurts reading this. I lost my parents, and the feeling of being alone and orphaned is paralyzing. I spend a lot of time looking for answers that will never come. The next time you feel this way, look up toward the sky and know that you are not alone. I’m looking at the same moon. I hope this brings some comfort during those nights
Beautifully spoken. I too have been reminded way too many times that life is short and we need to remember to tell those we love how truly special they are to us and say “I love you” more often! Thank you for the reminder and for sharing. My daughter Jenna and I met you in Easton, PA! ♥️
Beautifully spoken. I too have been reminded way too many times that life is short and we need to remember to tell those we love how truly special they are to us and say “I love you” more often! Thank you for the reminder and for sharing. My daughter Jenna and I met you in Easton, PA! ♥️
You’ve come a long way baby. Hang tough. You got this. God bless you and you family.
Thank you for sharing this. You’ve always been so generous with…well…you. You give your supporters such an intimate look into your life and heart. You make yourself vulnerable to help others. So in a way instead of paying back your mom, dad, and grandmother with you vulnerability…you paid it forward. And if I may be so bold as to say…they would be so proud you did. Because this love that flows from your openness…it ripples into infinity touching countless lives. You teach us how to be brave. You teach us how to be bold. You teach us how to love. And you do it by doing the very thing that scares you most…being vulnerable and showing us all that it’s ok. Because of you I fought back my agoraphobia to see your show here in Phoenix. I was in the fifth row and when I saw you on the stage just feet from me, I cried. Because you helped me when I was afraid to help myself. There you were just feet from me…the one whose videos comforted me all the nights I cried too afraid to leave my house. And even though I couldn’t afford the meet and greet, being there with you even from the fifth row…it was enough. You came all the way from Florida…but I came from the prison of my own making fighting my own anxiety to be there and see you. To pay respect to the one who overcame so much so I could see…that if you made it, so could I. I hope I get the chance someday to hug you and thank you for all you’ve done for me. I’m so sorry for your loss. But please know you told your loved ones that you loved them by living well and inspiring people like me. I know they are proud of you…and so are so many of us that are proud to be your supporters.
God bless you in your journey. I know a lot of people are praying for you. I hope you will continue to let yourself off the hook for the past. One of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou; “We did back then what we knew how to do. And when we knew better, we did better”.