Trigger Warning – Death of a loved one.
I wanted to update everyone on where things are in my life, but I also feel like I want to keep most of it private and close to my heart. I will try to word this in a general sense, rather than speak specifically about my relationship with those involved.
The word “hospice” never fails to send a chill down my spine. It’s so much more than losing a loved one. It’s tear-soaked eyes, hushed voices, unanswered questions, anger, exhaustion, prolonged emotional agony, wondering, wishing……..Waiting.
My first encounter with hospice was when my grandmother was sick with cancer. I was in my early twenties and had gone to visit her. I remember laughing as she pointed the television remote toward the large glass window on the opposite side of the room, mumbling incoherently about the television being broken. I thought she was being silly, but when I noticed that no one else in the room found it as amusing as I had, I realized that somehow in the span of two days, she’d forgotten what a television was.
My mother explained that she was comfortable and at the end of her life, so very soon she would no longer be able to speak. She comforted me by reminding me that my grandfather, as well as my paternal grandmother would be waiting to welcome her at the gates of Heaven. She urged me to talk to her and say what I wanted to say before it was too late. It felt awkward and uncomfortable…So I didn’t.
Less than a year later, I stood beside the bed of my 47-year-old mother as she drew her last breath. This was my second encounter with hospice. Cancer had taken her at an offensively early age and a startlingly short time. On her last day I opened my mouth to say all the things I needed to say to her before she was gone, but the words wouldn’t come out. At this point I was hopelessly addicted to drugs and unsure of what to say. I wasn’t there for my mother during her sickness and couldn’t “bear” to see her in such a frail state. So, I stayed away.
I’ve forgiven myself for most of the things I’ve done while on drugs, but my lack of action during this time she needed me most is unforgivable–for now anyway.
Six years later, I was sober and present for my father as he laid in the hospice bed, resting peacefully at the end of his life. He had waited for all of us to leave the building before he took his final breath, but we were lucky enough to hold his hand afterward and say goodbye. I imagine he was already drifting to his next destination at this point, but it still felt healing to kiss his forehead one last time.
I hadn’t once managed to say the things I needed to–or should have said. I never wanted to have those conversations with them because it would be acknowledging the fact that they were dying. So instead, we had surface-level conversations and danced around the giant elephant in the room. When they were gone, they were gone and all that remained were all the unspoken words that will forever live in my mind with no place to go.
My mother had met and married a man when I was nine years old. He was a police officer, and my sister and I lived with him and my mother full time. He stepped up to raise us when my father wasn’t able to. He was there for my fifth-grade graduation, my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak. He drove me back and forth to my first job, cheerleading practices and cooked my date and I a delicious meal before the homecoming dance. He taught me how to drive a car, cook a killer egg sandwich, and most importantly, how to love another person’s children as if they were my own.
After my mother passed away, My stepfather eventually remarried and decided to retire from the police force and move to a lakehouse in Georgia. He allowed my family and I to move into the home he was leaving behind here–for next to nothing. He just wanted to know we were safe.
He has a name, but from the time they were born my children called him grandpa. I’m sure my father and mother wouldn’t have minded, but even if they had, I wouldn’t have been able to get the kids to call him anything else. They adore him. We visit him at the lakehouse often and have created some memories that will last a lifetime.
As I stood by his hospice bed this week, holding his hand and making jokes to lighten the somber mood in the house, I decided to do something different than I’d ever done.
The words flew from my lips with urgency and determination. I thanked him for all of the things he had done for me over the past 27 years. I promised him my children would know him, assured him we would keep his memory alive, and told him beautifully personal, sacred and special things that I won’t share here. He responded, “Take care of my grandbabies for me”, and many other heartbreakingly moving things that I may not have gotten to hear if we hadn’t had this conversation. We acknowledged the truth about what was happening with him and cried together for a bit before he drifted back to sleep.
My tears were not tears of sadness. They were tears of joy and peace. For the first time in my life I was able to leave nothing left unsaid with someone I cared deeply about… before I missed the chance.
I’m sure my mother was there to meet him with open arms yesterday when he left, and by now he has probably told her all about how silly, loving and adorable her grandkids are.
Experiencing loss changes a person forever. Experiencing the loss of most of my core family members puts me in a strange position. At times I feel lost, uprooted, orphaned, alone and heartbroken. But I know my family wouldn’t want me to cease existing in their absence.
So, I will continue to march on, telling everyone I love how much I love them as often as I can. I will always say the things that need to be said and give the compliments that need to be given. I’m going to drop the people who bring me anything other than peace and joy, and love those remaining folks as fiercely and urgently as I can.
This post was mainly a way for me to get my thoughts out onto paper, but also, I suppose, a gentle reminder to surround yourself with people who bring you joy, tell them how wonderful they are as often as you can, and never, ever, ever, feel embarrassed or ashamed to say what you feel to the people you love while you can.
Thank you for your patience with me as I navigate this season of my life.
I am so sorry to hear of your many losses. May God embrace you and bring you, your mind, heart, body and soul peace. Feel what you need to. Scream, cry, Express your feelings however you need to. Their is no wrong or right way to grieve. May God bless you all the days of your life. May you and your family find Joy in all the little things in this life. Take care Tiffany dear 🖤
I love your sincere heart. You are in my heart and prayers daily.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for trusting us with it.
You are a such a beautiful soul. Your presence on this earth, and your story, and your willingness to share so vulnerably is an absolute gift. You inspired me to do better.
So, so sorry for many losses. I know your pain. Love you! You bring so much joy into my life and love seeing you on here.
You are a beautiful person inside and out.
Tiffany, my heart breaks for you, yet rejoices for the opportunity you had to speak what was in your heart. What a beautiful moment you had that you will be able to treasure in your heart forever.
I know the angst of living with the torment of things not said before losing my parent. It has haunted me for the past year & a half. I am so happy for you that you will not have to endure that pain again with your other dad. It will help so much with your grief.
Please know that I’m thinking about you and wish your heart peace & rest.
Take care of you ❤️
So very sorry for your loss… your words touch home. My step dad who raised me as his own passed two years ago and I didn’t say the things I held in my heart… and I regret it… you write so beautifully and so honestly. Thank you for sharing.. it is a very real and kind reminder to say the words.. and not hold back… because you might never get another chance.
You should be so damn proud of yourself just as I am of you….and I don’t even know you.
Pain deeply changes a person but when it transforms a person…this is Grace.
There are just NO words for some of the days we live and endure but never doubt we are cradled in Gods Love. (Don’t me to get “preachy”).
Bless you on your journey.
Love from a fellow traveler❤️
Tiffany… I have watched you for a long time, and you and I have so many things in common… So many. I don’t have a lot of friends since I have decided to stay home, I learned that friends are often only found through work… I so many days have wished, that I could just call you up and chat. I have also experienced a lot of death in a short period of time… My first best friend, my cousin Kirsten passed away in 2015, brain tumors… My neighbour was found dead by myself and his wife several months later in 2015… My mom, who was my whole world, she was my best friend, my confidant, the best Nana, she was my whole world. Her passing in hospice in September 2017 pretty much broke my spirit. A few months prior in July my sister‘s husband passed away of pancreatic cancer in room number eight at Hospice, it was horrific, unbelievable. Six days later my niece who was his daughter passed away of triple negative breast cancer, and then my mom in September. I also struggle for me very bad addiction story. If you ever need a friend to talk to, you have my email address, I’m on Facebook under kimberlee Menchenton…. May God bless you Tiffany, and may all your loved ones be in heaven now waiting for you it becomes your time you will have so many familiar faces there to greet you. I know you tell the whole world how much you love them, and all I say to you now is, I love you too. 💗
Such a beautiful post ❤️ My dad left this Earth mere hours before I was supposed to be there. Even more then a decade later, I think about it often. It’s so important to tell the people you love how you feel because not many of us are blessed with the option to be there at the end.
THANKS so much for sharing this about you. ❤️ You are Blessed ❤️ and are blessing others with your experiences and words, giving them the encouragement to live better lives should they choose. BIG HUGS and MUCH Love to You ❤️ You are a Brave Warrior loved by many.
I’m happy your heart has found peace in his passing. I hope you give yourself some grace and allow those around you to help in your healing.
God bless you and comfort you in your grief dear encourager. I’m so sorry loss and pain. I cried reading this as death is so personal to me family these days. We lost my mother suddenly on January 11, 2019, another my baby brother on February 10, 2019. Later that year my great aunt. My grammie passed in 2020 and 1 years later my older brother’s new wife. So much pain and death yet we have a hope to see them again in glory with new bodies free from pain. I related to you talking about your step-father as my step dad who was like a father to us since my little brother was 2 yrs old.
I know grief can be crippling. You will get through this even when it feels unbearable. Thank you for sharing your life with so many and being transparent.
My family dealt with a lot of substance abuse and the effects still linger. God bless and keep you in His peace and Love. ❤
I have tears in my eyes reading your post, for all its loss and beauty.
I see other responses here and think, wow, this woman has touched us all. You have an army of supporters. And I am grateful to see this for you.
We will have faith that you will get through this, and when you are ready, we will hand the faith over to you.
With Love, Minister Wendy
💔❤️🩹💝
I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray you find peace and comfort in your memories. 🙏♥️
I’m so sorry Tiffany. Experiencing hospice and then the death of a loved one is beautiful and hard at the same time. I just went thru this experience last month, losing my 103 yr old grandmother. She was the glue that held us all together. In her final days, me and my siblings and my parents all came together to surround her with love. It was an unusual thing because usually someone would have a problem with another or vice versa. I’m so happy that you finally had the courage to pour your heart out to your dad. It doesn’t make the loss any easier, but at least you know that he got to hear how you felt about him. Hugs!
Tiffany, first and foremost, I am so very sorry for your loss. It is never easy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family 🙏🏻♥️ Second, I am so proud of you for all of your milestones, but this one in particular!!! You spoke! You felt! You engaged in hard things!! You did it!! You have grown so very much and I know your loved ones are so very proud of the woman and mother you are today!! Just know- you are seen and you are heard ♥️♥️
Thank you for sharing your experience on this topic, more than any other.
Sending you peace and love, I’ll remember him as well.
I am sorry for everyone’s loss 🙏 thoughts and prayers for you and all your family. Kori
Beautifully written tribute to your father and I hung on every word thinking of how absolutely true each statement was. Thank you for sharing with us. Praying for you and your family during this time. I know that your mom and dad are both so very proud of you…for many, many reasons.
Grief is such a bizarre journey which I am sure you know deeply. Take all the time you need before coming back. I am thinking of you and your family.
Lost my mom a year ago and wish I could have, would have said the things on my heart. But weren’t coming out of my mouth. I’m gladyou were able to this time. GOD bless you.
Iam so deeply sorry for your losses and the pain your feeling..Be strong and remember the words,Not today for they have been on my fridge for awhile now..Prayers for you and your family
Absolutely beautiful. I’m so glad you had the opportunity to say the things you wanted to say. It’s hard.
My situation is similar so I do understand. Now do what you need to do for yourself to heal.
I love how you poured out your so well. You are very good at describing your feelings. I adore you and your family. Peace!
All I can say: Hugs and ♥️
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. My 19 year old son passed away 3 weeks ago unexpectedly after a long battle with depression. This has been the hardest thing I have ever gone thru in my entire life. May God shine down on you and your family as you grieve your loved one.
Hello, I her started watching you and your very 😁 funny…. your sense of humor definitely can help you thru hard times but as a humorous person myself, I know how loss of a loved one can really play havoc on our minds and spirit. It’s almost debilitating!!!! I too lost many important relationships early in life including my first grand daughter and it’s thee worst life experience to go thru to say the least. I pray for you to continue to dig deep on your strength and where your strength comes from. I pray for God to heal your mind , heart, and soul. I pray peace in your heart ❤️ I pray you take this time to take care of yourself and your family. Social media will live without you and isn’t understanding to real life issues. You keep rocking this life out!!!!! You have so much inspiration to share still!!!! God bless, and I’m so so happy you finally shared how you truly feel with your step dad on his last days here. Your a beautiful person and he knew that.
This was a beautiful way to Express yourself. I’ve struggled with addiction and have lost incredibly significant relationships because of it. Thank you for sharing your experience and for sharing your lesson. That’s life, a continuous steam of lessons, and life will keep sending the same lesson over and over until we learn it. It sounds like you have learned this one, to be present always with those around us, to love them and let them love you. And that goodbyes, while difficult and heart breaking, are a part of life. And, if handled in a healthy and loving way, that goodbye moment is stored with the thousands of other beautiful memories of that person. I’m sorry for your loss, and I thank you for sharing. Sending you vibes of love and healing.
Tiff I am so sorry for the loss of your step father. As I read what you wrote, the tears began to flood my eyes. I too know the pain of losing someone in hospice. Just this past November my mom was in hospice at the hospital, she sadly lost her short battle to pancreatic cancer. I was lucky enough to say my goodbyes. It still hurts, still sucks, I’m still confused how this could happen! Honestly watching your videos cheer me up when I’m feeling sad, thank-you so much for that! You are in my thoughts during this difficult time.
❤
Thank you so much! I am experiencing this right now with my biological dad that I only just reconnected with 3 years ago! I so appreciate you sharing this as I hope to have the same ability to find all the words. I feel very angry and cheated and I do not want any of that to come through during this. Sharing this reminds me that I must be grateful and kind and loving so that the tears will be of joy. Thank you Tiffany! I’m sending love and positivity to you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, sending lots of love and hugs. I haven’t lost a parent yet but my mom is not doing well and I know I won’t handle that well, I can’t even imagine what you e gone through 💚💜💚💜
Hi I’m in recovery and felt the pain of hospice at the age of five with my father.
This year has been a tough year so far for me due to my mother passing away of leukemia in the hospital. We didn’t make it to hospice but we made it to comfort care and I was able to be there with her in her final hours. She too took her final breath in private she was a fighter. Feb 6th 2022. The best thing we can do for those we love is be there for them for their final hours. I feel for you and am praying for you and your family through this time
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing these moments.
I can certainly relate. Losing my grandmother to pancreatic cancer, my mom and (aunt, godmother) to lung cancer, my dad to heart disease and my best friend to cancer I know where your coming from. Feeling orphaned is something I lived with for years. I lost my mom when she was only 56. Life is sometimes not fair. Please surround yourself with the people you love and who love you back and know we’re all here for you. 💜
I am literally in tears as I read through this. Beautifully spoken ❤️ It is sooo important to say what u feel especially to your loved ones! Thank you for writing this.
First, I’m so sorry for your loss! I was just watching the video we made you and I believe he was in it? I’m glad you took the opportunity to say what you needed to say. Nothing hurts more than regretting those unsaid words and wishing you had just. One. More. Day.
Thank you for sharing such a raw and personal story with us. I lost my mother shortly after I met you. It has changed me forever. I not only miss my mother but I also miss the person I used to be before I lost her. I’ve slowly learned to accept it but sometimes, I can’t help but be angry for feeling so tainted and lost. I just started therapy this year so each session, we slowly chip away at the mess I made not dealing with her death.
I’ll never understand why we don’t better prepare ourselves for the only guarantee in life-death. I hope I can teach and prepare my kids so when they loose me it won’t be so difficult.
Sending all my love to you and your beautiful family!
I have lost my Dad Mom and step Dad. Never got to do what you did but I am a person who has verbal diarrhea when emotional things are involved. I make sure the important people in my life know they are loved. I know what a difficult time this is and I just want you to know you’re not alone. You’re amazing and you are loved. Give yourself a break, you deserve it.
Tiffany sending you hugs! No matter how old we are when we lose a parent the world is a scarier place. They are our touch stone to the world. Hospice does an amazing job with care. I am so glad that you were able to open your heart and be there for him. Sending Love and prayers!
1st I am so beyond sorry for your loss. I lost my step dad 17 years ago. My last words to him were not kind. That has eaten away at me for a very long time. I have sat by to many hospice beds. But the 1st time I’ve had the strength to tell someone how I felt was my grandfather. I was grampys girl. I was 28 and still grampys little girl. He had slipped into a coma by this point but I spilled it all. When my husband came in my livingroom (where my grandfather was) to check on me has goes what did you say??? My grandfather in his coma like state had a tear coming down his cheek. He is the one who walked me down the isle and when I ran away from home at 13 years old. I got on a flight and went from MA to Florida to be with him and my mema. So huge gental hugs for you. Don’t forget to stay in touch with your sponsor you will need them. Please know you can always reach out. My moms been sober over 20 years. Lots of love
My sincerest condolences. Whether family by birth or by choice it’s never easy losing the ones we love. I worked in hospice as a social worker for three years, and they were the best years of my life. Being with someone in their final hours is a special gift, one they give to you and one you give to them. Be well and know you are loved.
Tiffany,
You are one strong lady! You are compassionate, caring, and loving. You have gone through enough to make you wiser and stronger, and you are making differences to those who know you. Keep being open to the universe, it is not an easy task.
Mich love,
Portia
I did the same with my dad as you did with your mom😭😭😭💔💔😭 it hurts so bad
I feel your pain. My mother died Nov last year and I was by her bedside 15 hours loving her. My dad died 4 days ago. I could only talk to him over the phone while he was dying. I made amends and said I loved him. For him. So he could let go. I feel your pain. It’s all so awful.
Beautifully said. Love you. ❤️
💜💜💜💜💜
Hi Tiffany,
I am so sorry for all of your losses. As I read your post I felt like I was taking a walk down memory lane in my own life. I lost many people when I was a child from the age of 7-9, we lost 10 family members. Then in 2004 we lost my Dad after a long battle with Huntingtons Chorea, in 2007 (on my wedding anniversary) we lost my Mom from COPD, 2008 we lost my brother at age 33 also from a long battle with Huntingtons Chorea and in 2019 we lost my sister at age 32 also from a long battle with Huntingtons Chorea. I was with all of them as they took their last breath. You pray for it to be over but at the same time you don’t want to let them go. So many emotions flow through your head, sadness, anger, how could this be happening?? I am so sorry you have had to say goodbye to so many loved ones. The only thing that keeps me going is that I know one day I will see them again and I feel my Mom and sisters presence all the time. I will pray for you and your family during these difficult times. 🙏❤
You’re an inspiration, Tiff. Know this. Something that a hospice nurse (bless their hearts!) told me as my father was passing away: “We often in times like these wonder how things will ever be the same- be “normal” again. The truth is, they won’t be the exact same again. But, life WILL return to “normalcy”; it’ll just be a different “normal”.”
Her words offered hope for finding peace and healing for the future. I hope her words do the same for you and your family. Brightest, warmest, happiest, and healthiest of blessings to you!
Tiffany, your continued strength throughout your life is nothing short of amazing. Thank you for sharing and the reminder.
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing, I needed to hear your story, it mirrors my own. Thanks again, your words comfort me.
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
This was an extremely beautiful tribute. I can feel your love for them and it has moved me to tears. I wish you all the love and healing you need to get through this painful season.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss, thinking of you and your family, it’s so amazing what a 2nd dad can do and how much they have helped shape us and stood by us , it’s a feeling like no other, its absolutely devastating when they are gone. cherish those memories they will help you in so many different times in your life to come , take care I will be thinkingnofnyou
I have lost 6 family members in 10 months time. My Mother was killed in an automobile accident last April and was the first of the six deaths. The most recent was my Grandmother. I got to be by her side as she took her last breath. I am heart broken, angry and just trying to get through the days while healing from all of my wounds.
So sorry for your heartache. My prayers are with you.
My deepest condolences on your loss, I just cried with you while reading this. What a beautiful tribute, you elegantly put such life lessons into words. Sending you anf your family all the love and prayers ❤️
Peace and comfort 💞 I send you live and good vibes 💞
Always
Sheila Davison
Thank you for sharing your heart! You inspire and teach and show love more than you know.
Tiffany, I am so very sorry for your loss. I was with my husband of 39 years when he passed. We were high school sweethearts. I lost my dad 6 months later. Before they passed I lost my both my in-laws and my mom. I neverthought i would be a widow and an orphan in my 60’s. I am sending you prayers and strength. You have a beautiful family and so many people praying for you. God Bless you and your family.
My heart breaks for you and you’re family. I hope you have peace with being able to have that conversation. I just laid my dad to rest last week so I understand the word hospice. I did open and talk to my dad it’s so hard at a time like that. I’ll be thinking of you and you’re family.
I have not yet walked this road but I know it lays before me in years to come. Thank you for sharing your experience. I have found that loss is one of the feelings I struggle with the most in my recovery. I once thought that death of loved ones would lead me back out, but today, through people like you sharing how to walk through it, I think I will choose to feel the pain. I heard once that the pain we feel when someone dies is the leftover love we have for them….or something like that. So, I am sure your pain is great, know you are in my thoughts and prayers as you navigate the path of grief.
I have work hospice in the past and had the great honor and privilege to be present at the passing of some amazing people but I believe the best experiences I was able to be a part of came when the family laughed and told stories and shared memories telling each other what needed to be said and heard not an easy thing learn how to do but what a blessing you can bring to a whole family. May God’s healing angels wrap their strength around you and your family
Tiffany,
My sincere condolences on the passing of your loved one.
No one TRULY knows the pain of losing a loved one, until they experience themselves.
You have had a very heavy life.
BUT know this…YOU HAVE A PURPOSE HERE AND ITS HUGE!
The strength you have, not many people can aquire.
So I personally want to Thank You for being you! We (everyone who loves you) will understand your journey and the time it will take to heal and get back on your path.
Remember to “BREATHE!
We will be here to support you in prayer, thoughts and your returning!
With Much Love,
Mary Beth Allen
Thank you for sharing this very personal part of your life. As tears are running down my face I’m remembering 16 years ago when I said goodbye to my mom. She was in a coma like state at the end. I told her all the things… I told her I would take care of dad and it’s ok for her to go. 10 minutes later she took her last breath. So I know that they can hear even when the are not awake. 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing this, your words and feelings touched my heart in a special way. I send you and your family prayers and condolences.
What a beautifully told story. This brought tears to my eyes. You have helped innumerable people by sharing your experiences. It is so important to let our loved ones know how we feel, Because we never know when they will be gone forever with no second chance for us to share our feelings with them…. may God bless you in the time of grief. ❤
Lost my mom to cancer 22 yrs ago and a year ago my dad also cancer. There is not a day that goes by do I miss them. I am so sorry for you and your families loss.
Know that I love that you have shared so much deep, painful and joyous truths. Although we have not met, know that I love you. Love is the reason that we are “here” and our purpose. My hope is that more in this world realize this. It is this type of sharing of experiences that facilitates more people to realize our purpose.
❤❤❤❤👏
Thank you so much for sharing this, it was beautifully written. We all are going through something and it’s comforting to hear other people’s stories of coping and healing. Many prayers of peace and love for your family❤️🙏🏻
I’m am so sorry for your losses. My mother died of cancer when she was just 49, I know the feeling of losing her too young. By that time I had already lost the only grandpa I got to meet and my step-dad (who was an awesome dad). In 2012 we lost my mother-in-law to cancer. Just shy of three years ago (July 2019) my dad was gone and soon after (October) so was my father-in-law. It is now just my husband, me and our kids and my brother, his wife and their kids. My mom and dad didn’t get to meet my grandbabies, the oldest of which will be two in just over a week. My brother has a similar past to yours, but he had almost a year of sobriety under his belt when we lost our mom. He clung to it for her afterwards.
I’m glad you were able to say those things you wanted to this time. I hope the things said will cradle your heart and soul as you go through these next days, weeks, years… Thank you for sharing what you did. You’re an amazing woman.
To live without suffering is to live without love.
We all experience battles in our lives that test the strengths of our very being. Pushing us at the very core of our existence. Some will fall to the persistence of these battles while others will prevail. Being present with the one who battles. Being present with the one who falls. It brings a heaviness you never knew existed into your soul. Confirmation of love, patience, compassion, forgiveness and surrender. It’s all within you. Yet without these battles we would never know. Embrace this with all of your light.
Thank you for this beautifully sad prose. There is such truth in your heartfelt words. That you can share this with us all, indeed speaks to your compassion and empathy in your soul. A truly lovely soul. I’ve lost a son to suicide and I did not have any goodbyes; just trying to breathe life back into him was my word to him. A tragic fail however. Those final words mean everything, I’m so glad you were able to say them. And to share this. I bid you Peace dear lady.
We (5 children) lost our mother at age 44. I was 19 and interested in my friends and partying. I do remember thinking this is serious and we might lose her. Thankfully I said the things I wanted to tell her from a 19 year old perspective We lost her soon after. I know how you feel. Please don’t feel guilty and sad as a mother always knows the love her children feel. Sending love to you! 🥰
Wow Tiff, you are amazing and from caregivers point your mother, father grandmother and dad are now watching over you and yours. I’m sure those who cared for them know so many stories of you and their loved ones that would make you laugh and cry. I love my family (patients) and their families. You are an incredible person. Thank you for sharing and I’m so very sorry for your loss
I shouldn’t have read this while sitting at work, but I wanted to know you’re ok.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Holding your loved one’s hand as you know the end is near, is something that will live with you forever. I held my brother’s hand as his heart slowed down, and 5 years later I held my father’s hand.
Sending you a big hug and may the sweet memories bring your heart comfort.
It took a lot of strength to do what you did… and I’m thankful you found peace in the process. Grief is hard. But you have a following of folks who love you and support you. Thank you for keeping it real on so many fronts. My thoughts are with you as you navigate this new phase of life. May his spirit and those of others you’ve lost be with you and bring you comfort. You’re doing a great job and I know they’re proud of the woman you’ve become.
Thank you for preparing me for what’s about to come.
This is beautiful and honestly said.My heart goes out to you.And the rest of your and his family and friends that has known him.May he be in peace.And know he loved you and the rest of your family unconditionally.And you have came very far then where you have been.And I give that to you as .You can take a breath now.It will be ok cause you found strength. And you have loved and cared for someone you Might have never known.May you grieve in your time.Sand all my good vibes..And love.
Sending you so much love and light 🙏 And yummy crystal energy to facilitate comfort, peace and healing.
I imagine a huge sense of loneliness, a scattered sense of identity (who do I belong to? Who will tell my childhood stories?). I lost my dad suddenly in 2012, my only sibling, my brother, from a sudden seizure at age 43, and my mom just recently in December after 6 months on hospice. Nothing can describe the experience, and each individuals is a unique journey. But I wanted to let you know you’re not alone, you are deeply loved, and appreciated, and your words are healing foe many. It’s ok to be human. It’s ok to grieve however way you choose for as long as you choose, it’s ok not to be ok, and there isn’t nor has there ever been, anything wrong with you. Your worth is in changeable, inalterable, and because of that, we have always been whole. Thank you for being you in all the ways.
Thank you for being open and honest with your followers. I could feel that pain and guilt of not speaking those words at the end of someone’s life. I didn’t get to with my grandparents and I think about how they would be loving on their grandbabies if they were here.
I’m so sorry sweetie! My daughter’s just buried their Dad, boy that was tough for all. On top of everything else I have been diagnosed with High grade Non-Hodgkins lymphoma involving the spleen.
This was so beautiful, it brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing. As someone who’s currently a full-time stepmother, it was so moving to hear how his life impacted yours, and that you were able to share that with him. You were so lucky to have him, and he sounds like a one-in-a-million kind of person who understood what it meant to be a parent (and grandparent). You’ve lost too many people far too young, but you lucked out with him. May he rest in peace.
My condolences and you did the right thing . In my thoughts and prayers
You are amazing I too have lost both parents, all grandparents and my father in law. I’m only 41. Sad to see my kids grow up not knowing the people we love.
Your post has brought me to tears because I too understand missing the opportunity of a last deep visit. Much love to you as you navigate the heart aches of losing your dad.
{{hugs}}
No words said can lessen your load…sending hugs and prayers of peace for you and your family.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful story of your life experiences. You have definitely touched my heart. Wishing you prayers for strength and healing.
💜💫 dear girl
This is beautiful and something I too must learn. Thank for sharing. My sincere condolences to you and your family. Xoxo
You have such a kind heart. I have been going thru alot as well lost my husband after 31 years of marriage and i hurt every day. Reading this give me a hope to step out of my funk.