Trigger Warning – Death of a loved one.
I wanted to update everyone on where things are in my life, but I also feel like I want to keep most of it private and close to my heart. I will try to word this in a general sense, rather than speak specifically about my relationship with those involved.
The word “hospice” never fails to send a chill down my spine. It’s so much more than losing a loved one. It’s tear-soaked eyes, hushed voices, unanswered questions, anger, exhaustion, prolonged emotional agony, wondering, wishing……..Waiting.
My first encounter with hospice was when my grandmother was sick with cancer. I was in my early twenties and had gone to visit her. I remember laughing as she pointed the television remote toward the large glass window on the opposite side of the room, mumbling incoherently about the television being broken. I thought she was being silly, but when I noticed that no one else in the room found it as amusing as I had, I realized that somehow in the span of two days, she’d forgotten what a television was.
My mother explained that she was comfortable and at the end of her life, so very soon she would no longer be able to speak. She comforted me by reminding me that my grandfather, as well as my paternal grandmother would be waiting to welcome her at the gates of Heaven. She urged me to talk to her and say what I wanted to say before it was too late. It felt awkward and uncomfortable…So I didn’t.
Less than a year later, I stood beside the bed of my 47-year-old mother as she drew her last breath. This was my second encounter with hospice. Cancer had taken her at an offensively early age and a startlingly short time. On her last day I opened my mouth to say all the things I needed to say to her before she was gone, but the words wouldn’t come out. At this point I was hopelessly addicted to drugs and unsure of what to say. I wasn’t there for my mother during her sickness and couldn’t “bear” to see her in such a frail state. So, I stayed away.
I’ve forgiven myself for most of the things I’ve done while on drugs, but my lack of action during this time she needed me most is unforgivable–for now anyway.
Six years later, I was sober and present for my father as he laid in the hospice bed, resting peacefully at the end of his life. He had waited for all of us to leave the building before he took his final breath, but we were lucky enough to hold his hand afterward and say goodbye. I imagine he was already drifting to his next destination at this point, but it still felt healing to kiss his forehead one last time.
I hadn’t once managed to say the things I needed to–or should have said. I never wanted to have those conversations with them because it would be acknowledging the fact that they were dying. So instead, we had surface-level conversations and danced around the giant elephant in the room. When they were gone, they were gone and all that remained were all the unspoken words that will forever live in my mind with no place to go.
My mother had met and married a man when I was nine years old. He was a police officer, and my sister and I lived with him and my mother full time. He stepped up to raise us when my father wasn’t able to. He was there for my fifth-grade graduation, my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak. He drove me back and forth to my first job, cheerleading practices and cooked my date and I a delicious meal before the homecoming dance. He taught me how to drive a car, cook a killer egg sandwich, and most importantly, how to love another person’s children as if they were my own.
After my mother passed away, My stepfather eventually remarried and decided to retire from the police force and move to a lakehouse in Georgia. He allowed my family and I to move into the home he was leaving behind here–for next to nothing. He just wanted to know we were safe.
He has a name, but from the time they were born my children called him grandpa. I’m sure my father and mother wouldn’t have minded, but even if they had, I wouldn’t have been able to get the kids to call him anything else. They adore him. We visit him at the lakehouse often and have created some memories that will last a lifetime.
As I stood by his hospice bed this week, holding his hand and making jokes to lighten the somber mood in the house, I decided to do something different than I’d ever done.
The words flew from my lips with urgency and determination. I thanked him for all of the things he had done for me over the past 27 years. I promised him my children would know him, assured him we would keep his memory alive, and told him beautifully personal, sacred and special things that I won’t share here. He responded, “Take care of my grandbabies for me”, and many other heartbreakingly moving things that I may not have gotten to hear if we hadn’t had this conversation. We acknowledged the truth about what was happening with him and cried together for a bit before he drifted back to sleep.
My tears were not tears of sadness. They were tears of joy and peace. For the first time in my life I was able to leave nothing left unsaid with someone I cared deeply about… before I missed the chance.
I’m sure my mother was there to meet him with open arms yesterday when he left, and by now he has probably told her all about how silly, loving and adorable her grandkids are.
Experiencing loss changes a person forever. Experiencing the loss of most of my core family members puts me in a strange position. At times I feel lost, uprooted, orphaned, alone and heartbroken. But I know my family wouldn’t want me to cease existing in their absence.
So, I will continue to march on, telling everyone I love how much I love them as often as I can. I will always say the things that need to be said and give the compliments that need to be given. I’m going to drop the people who bring me anything other than peace and joy, and love those remaining folks as fiercely and urgently as I can.
This post was mainly a way for me to get my thoughts out onto paper, but also, I suppose, a gentle reminder to surround yourself with people who bring you joy, tell them how wonderful they are as often as you can, and never, ever, ever, feel embarrassed or ashamed to say what you feel to the people you love while you can.
Thank you for your patience with me as I navigate this season of my life.
Tiffany,
My deepest condolences to you and you family. My thoughts & prayers are with you during this difficult time.
Oh thank you for sharing this! Please take care
I seldom read a persons story and feel connected. I have never been an addict, but the whole not saying my heartfelt thoughts to a dying parent? Yea…. I did that at 21/22 yrs old. I try to forgive myself, but never completely.
Thank you for sharing your current journey. My heart is with you Tiffany🥰
I never felt more inspired or connected than when I absorb your messages. You have an uncanny ability to bring those of us who are trapped in self pity back down to earth. And if there’s one thing I’m certain of when it comes to dying, is that It’s gonna be okay.
My condolences to you and your family, I haven’t experienced losing a parent yet, But I’ve worked hospice care and know the importance of family time during end of life.
I’m so very happy you were able to let your emotions flow with your “Other Dad” and you found that closure needed. I hope your heart heals from the loss, it’s never easy.
Again my condolences to you and yours.
My condolences Tiffany…
Tiffany,
My heart feels your pain, it truly, truly does. My mom, grandma, and aunt have all left me much too early due to the stupid cancer and people who haven’t had to endure these things will never grasp the emptiness it leaves in your soul. I love you to the moon and back.
This brought tears to my eyes and memories of loved ones I lost. Take your time it’s freaking hard losing people you love! Hoping you can feel joy in knowing how proud he was of you! Sending prayers!
Oh my. How beautifully raw and so graciously put.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy and proud that you were able to say exactly what you wanted to say at the exact moment to say.
I hope you find peace and comfort knowing he’s reunited with your mum, and that you helped him ease in to his journey.
Massive love from the uk 🇬🇧 Xx
We are here for you and your message is heard. Love from all of us.
God bless you my dear. Wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing. Much love, Bett V
Walk your path with love!!!!!! Let Love Lead!!!!
Prayers for you and your family’s hearts. This was a beautiful blog sweet daughter.
Thank you for sharing. I would hug you tight right now if I was able too. I know the loss, it is so painful and to be going through this time after time, well I cannot imagine that. Take care of you and know we love you. ❤️
I’d lost my core family by the time I was 29 and I absolutely understand every single feeling you’re experiencing. Sending you tons of love. Thank you for sharing.
Tiffany,
Condolences are a strange thing. We do not know each other, yet through shared experiences of losing parents we are inextricably connected. Noone prepares you, there is really no way to prepare for this season.
My prayer is that you remember deeply, cry soothingly, love richly and forever be proud of who you are because of where you have come from. Blessings in this difficult time. You are never alone, it is a club noone ever asks to join. Yet, here we are. Much love.
Sending you big tight hugs 🫂
I am so sorry and my deepest condolences. Death is so hard, the loss can be unbearable. I will pray and send love your way .
Tiffany,
❤ My deepest sympathies and condolences for you and your family through your journey of loss and my deepest prayers for peace and love in your healing process are with you and your family. I know that this post has so many factors of love, memories, hurt,healing, grief, loss, learning and growth attached to it, such a powerful mix. Your voice is heard and as a daughter of a struggling addict, I want you to know that your strength, courage, hope, faith, and persistence even when the days and road is rough, is seen and felt! Always remember how far you have come and make sure you remember to love yourself and give yourself ALOT of credit for not giving up on yourself and falling back into addition. You truly are an inspiration, You are so much braver, stronger and loved than you will ever imagine, I want you to know that. I’m so sorry that you are going through this. Remember even though it may feel like it, your not alone💛🙏
My Deepest Sympathy To You And Your Family 🙏❤️ Liss Is Never An Easy Journey🙏 Excepting You’ll Never Again See Them, Hug Or Talk To Them Is Really Hard! I Use My Memories To Console Me, And The Thought They They Are In A Heavenly Home💗Peace And Comfort To You🙏❤️
Beautifully said, my deepest sympathies to you and your loved ones
“Experiencing the loss of most of my core family members puts me in a strange position. At times I feel lost, uprooted, orphaned, alone and heartbroken.”
⬆️
This..all of this
You are in my heart..I know this all too well. Your telling brought me to tears. Peace be with you and your family. 🫂
I am truly sorry for your loss, I do understand. I lost my mom in dec and it was , and still is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. The one thing I am grateful for is that I got the chance to tell her what she meant to me. She was my everything and life will never be the same without her. I would love to tell you it gets easier with time, but I’m not there yet. Sending you and your family lots of love.
Tiffany, first I want to tell you how sorry I am for you and your family’s loss. When you talk about the tears being of joy and peace, that resonates with me. I was a registered CNA when both my maternal grandmother and maternal grandfather passed. I was able to be with them at the end of their lives. Most recently (2019), I was able to be with my Daddy and we had those SO very important conversations at the end. He talked with me, my brother, my sister-in-law and our kids – all individually. I think he wanted to feel like we were okay with him leaving. He found out he had cancer in Nov. of 2018 and at the beginning of May 2019, he was gone. He was a close 240 lbs. at his diagnosis and easily 140lbs. when he passed. We all spend (and have eversince he passed) a lot of time with Mama. Of course we all miss him and our grandparents too, but there is a certain peace that overcame me from my Daddy’s passing, that I didn’t have with my grandparents. Maybe (for me) it was that I was older or maybe it was because I knew in his new body, there would be no more suffering or pain.
I pray for understanding and peace like no other to engulf you and your family during this time. Love, (((HUGS))) and prayers
Thank you for sharing this important life lesson. Beautifully told & deeply felt.
You are so lucky to have him in your life. My prayers are with u and your family. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time.
My deepest, deepest Condolences. ♥️🌹 I wish you well and thankyou for sharing. You wrote it so beautifully. They all would be so proud of you.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m just bawling over here. After a recent loss, my 36 yr old daughter ( in long term recovery) was finally able to attend a Memorial Service for her Great Aunt. Auntie was like a mother to her and always supportive whether she was in active addiction or not. I’m so glad my daughter was able to make herself get up and say a few words because in previous years of close losses she would just numb those feelings in the destructive/protective ways. Thank you for the encouragement you give to others and God Bless you for the courage you’ve earned. Hugs! And Happy Easter.
Tiffany,
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am also happy that you did get to say to your stepdad the things that needed to be said. When my dad passed it was unexpected and I didn’t get to say goodbye. Recently I lost my mom and sister within a span of 7 months and didn’t visit or talk to them like I should have and will always regret that. But I know they are all at peace and their pain is over. Tomorrow is truly never guaranteed. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I cried reading this! There’s so much I resonate with and there’s so much love and respect for who you are! March on! Life needs to go on! Love and hugs ❤️
Strong words from a strong woman. Praying for you and your family during this time.
Crying with you💗
God bless you my dear. Wonderful advice. Thank you for sharing. Much love, Bett V
I’ve done hospice volunteering for years, a beautiful graceful way to leave this earth with dignity. Your story is very moving and worth a read to anyone who has the chance.
You are so strong I lost my father in January due to Covid within a week of catching it he was gone we never had a close relationship he left when I was little but it hurts a year before my step dad committed suicide my uncle suicide a few months after time is so short. You never know what is going to happen. But I’m so thankful for you. I have been a follower since the beginning and your story has helped me in my darkest of days. Hugs and prayers sent your way.
Thank you for sharing your life, no matter how hard. You are such an inspiration and I appreciate you.
My most heartfelt condolences go to you and your family.
Sending prayers of peace and love.
My heart aches for you…you are a normal person..going thru normal things…i lost my mom when i was 15 years old n somehow nobody noticed my personal trauma…my father did some things in his life that i felt he never got dealt with about…i forgave him many years ago in my heart but never discussed it with him…he did far worse to my older siblings…he changed his life around and became a good man after a few years of drinking n abuse after my mom’s passing…i loved my father til the very end…yet have days where i look at his picture on my night stand..and…i will say..”i miss you dad…kiss mom for me”…then days where i look at his photo n think…”i cannot believe you did the things you did and got away with”….it is a constant battle in my head….his wife had no idea about these things he did in the past…when she was confronted with it…she asked me if those things were lies…and…i told her it was way b4 she came along…i was not going to lie about those things because i am a truthsayer..which generally doesn’t go over well…but she didn’t believe me n now has nothing to do with me….me being who i am makes me feel bad for her…it’s a struggle…but i say these things to tell you…life throws some things at us n each one of our situations requires a different response….i can totally relate to your situation…there are no straight forward answers…we all have to cope the way we have to…you take care of you..and…grieve about loss or things left unsaid the way that gets you thru…i can only tell you that it will get better….it may never leave you…but it will get better….hugs n love darlin…do what you gotta do…we real folks get it n we are here when you want to let things out…
Thank you so much for this
You are an amazingly strong and inspiring woman. I’m sorry for your pain and hope healing comes quickly.
I watched my grandfather die before my eyes the day before my 16th birthday. Flash forward to 3 years later and my mom passed from the same heart condition I have. She was 44. I was 19 at the time. Loss fractures us. It changes who we are. We were never meant to experience such heartache. I just turned 40 this week and the closer I get to the age of my mom when she passed, the more trepidation I feel. My deepest condolences and prayers for you and your family. You are not alone in your sorrow.
Beautiful. Thank you. You have so many gifts. 🙏🏼
I am very proud of you, happy for you, and the choice you made to open up to your second dad! During this very tough time, I hope you keep your head up! Continue to talk with them and open up, they will indeed hear you. Grieve in your time, in your way, time doesn’t heal everything, in time you learn how to grieve differently you learn copping skills like omg I am sorry look at me telling you how to deal, you know how to deal, you’re a recovering addict!! You know strategies etc and they can be applied throughout different aspects and levels in life! Thank you so kindly for this message to your social media peeps!! Tiffany, you are an absolute inspiration and light to so many I want to thank you so very much for who you are on the inside, who you are for your kids and family, what you stand for and believe in, and just how much you shine. I am glad you’re taking this time for yourself we all understand those who don’t understand don’t matter. Sending you so much love, understanding, and my deepest condolences for this recent pain and loss of your bonus Dad and for all your other pain and losses as well! Love you girl xoxo
So touching and beautifully written. You’re a brave and brilliant woman and I have no doubt you will march on.
Prayers to you and your family! So sorry for your losses!! 🙏❤️
So sorry for your loss.
My sincere sympathy to you and your family. I recall the feelings of being “orphaned” when I lost my last parent. It is a feeling which is hard to explain but my beautiful mother-in-law had prepared me before my father’s passing, that it would be different. Prayers of peace and comfort for you in this new phase of your life without your parents. Thank you for sharing and testimony to others.
Oh Tiffany, My heart just aches for you and your family. Cherish those memories, Tiffany. I am truly so sorry for your loss, and the grief that you and your family are going through. Thank you for telling your story. It is as special as you are .
My mom struggled with addiction for years before it finally took her life in 2020. I had to distance myself from her for my own mental health. I always thought “we will have time to mend this relationship” she wanted so badly to be sober and I wanted so badly to be there and support her.. but I needed to be in a better place in my life before I could do that. Since she has passed I have had these same thoughts of “I wish I would have said…” often I think of all the things I needed to say to her and how I will never get to say those things and find closure on those things. I am in therapy now to try and work through some of this but it still hurts so much.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I am glad that you took the time to have “real” conversations with your stepdad before he passed. My mom had cancer for years and far outlived all expectations her doctors had given her. Because of that, I guess I thought she would live forever and when I got the call that she was doing poorly on a random Saturday morning, I did not hurry to my mother’s side as I had done other times. Instead, I waited until much later in the day to go see her. By the time I got there, she didn’t know who I was. She was slightly aware of our presence for a few more hours – but never had another lucid moment. I stayed by her side for the next two and a half days waiting for her to wake up. She passed peacefully in her sleep. It is the one thing I cannot forgive myself for – not being able to say I love you and goodbye when she still knew who I was.
Thank you for sharing. It’s amazing how life comes full circle. I am blessed to still have my parents and oddly enough love them more as I go through therapy to heal the traumas they caused me but I used to fear death so much until my husband’s mother passed away. It was so odd when I entered her room, I knew I was there for a purpose. I was there for her and to provide her comfort and to be her voice in her time of weakness and when she grabbed my hand and said she wanted to see her husband and Jesus I never spoke louder for someone in my whole life. She lived 94 beautiful years and left with grace and dignity. Just like her favorite singer she did it her way. So glad you could be there for your step dad and thankful for you to have a positive and peaceful experience. Prayers love and positive vibes.
I am so proud of you. You were able to help ease this man with words of love. What an amazing adventure your life is. Stay healthy for your family but most of all to yourself. I love your humor and realism. I so love when you have makeup smears or hair unkept. You also have beautiful makeup and great hairdos but you remind us that we are in this thing together!!
What a beautiful lesson you just all of us about honesty. Praying for you during these difficult days.
So sorry for everything you have been through.
Life is the most unforgiving journey we will ever travel.
I have lost some very important people in my life as well, starting with my Dad when I was 14.
It’s so hard to gather the strength we need to continue on daily, but we dig down deep inside and pull it out of us.
You are a strong amazing women and you truly bring strength and happiness to thousands and thousands of people.
Stay strong and keep being the amazing women you are!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me through some of my toughest times.
Hopefully the support from all of us can help you in some way too
❤️
May God be with you during your time of sorrow. I cried with you… I feel your pain… and I can only offer a prayer.
It is the greatest love that brings the deepest sadness. You may now feel like an orphan, as I did when my mom died — it’s an odd and lonely place. Grief does not require strength or bravery; it asks for surrender and compassion for our hurting self. Be kind to you, and ride the flow of feelings, even if it’s scary. I hope you believe, as I do, that love never dies — those who have departed this earth leave their love behind to help us get by.
Ty for sharing this. I myself was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer which last January should have taken my life. It grew over my heart and was very crucial for me. The only thing I could think of was my husband and daughter at the time. I kept thinking this can not be it for me. I fought like I have never fought for anything in my life. I have a 25% survival rate. I’m going to stop and smell the roses. Sometimes we all take life for granted and before you know it life has ran you by. I’ve also lost my parent in my 20’s and 30’s. It takes time to find your new normal. Just take one day at a time and remember to breath. It takes time and you feel like your drowning and then one day to bob to the surface and this will go on for a while then one day you realize you have a new normal you never forget but you learn how to live with it.
This made me cry….I don’t there are any words I can say to make it better, I can’t even think of any either, but I can say thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry💜💜Grief is the hardest thing ever. Time will help you cope but it won’t make it go away.
I know the pain of this kind of loss. You never get over it but it does get easier. I still cry when everytime I think of those low times. Allow yourself to grieve no matter how long it may last. I am so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss, but so happy that you were able to have that conversation with a man who stepped up and made you his own. I too had those lost feelings when both of my parents passed away. The only thing more heartbreaking is when my daughter died and I didn’t get to say goodbye to her. I have been raising her boys for the last 4 years so we get to talk about her often. Those boys are my final connection to my baby girl. I pray that you never have to experience the loss of a child. God bless.
I decided to read this 5 minutes before I had a job interview (bad idea) as I was crying holding in tears for you during this painful time. You are a wonderful human being and I am praying for you and your family. This is a hard time. I lost my dad in 2020 at 42 years old, I was only 23. I have sisters that were only 3 and 4 when he passed away. I can feel the pain you are feeling. You are held in my thoughts.
I am a hospice social worker and I encourage people to do what you did with your other dad. I am so sorry you did not get that opportunity with your other loved ones, but I’m also glad you’ve forgiven yourself. The thing is, if no one is telling you the importance of saying how you feel, you’re less likely to do it.
My heart goes out to you and you have my sincerest condolences ❤️
OMG! This hit me so deeply! I am so glad I stopped to read this. Thank you. May all the positive light wrap u in warmth at this difficult time and in the days ahead.
My heart hurts for you. I can relate to this on so many levels. I’m so sorry. I had to say goodbye to my mother 6 years ago. It was devastating. She was my best friend. We lost my father to suicide when I was a child. My stepdad and siblings are all I have left.
I’m so glad you got to talk to your stepfather. Hug your people tight and tell them you love them as often as possible. However, even unsaid I’m sure they know. You have a beautiful warm heart and although I don’t personally know you, I have a feeling you love your people hard. They know that. I’m praying for peaceful and swift grief for you during this time.💕
I share your tears.please accept my most sincere condolences for you and your family.
Thank you so much for sharing! I connect with what you are saying in so many ways. I am only child with parents who kept to themselves so it was always a family unit of 3. I watched my mom die of bone cancer in September. She was in hospice for at home for about 6 months and was still able to take care of herself with dads help but in the last month she went down hill fast. The last 3 weeks she was in a hospice house and was the worst three weeks. It was so hard to see her weaken and not be able to speak to me. She couldn’t hug me or my dad or her grand babies. They couldn’t see her because it wasn’t grandma:( she didn’t know who we were at times. The last day I saw her was the hardest thing. I could tell it would be soon, I tried to tell her what I needed but it was so hard to see her that way. That night she past – we came and said our goodbyes and I sat with her for awhile. I didn’t really want to leave because I knew it would be the last time I could touch her. I know she wasn’t there and was in a better place. But living without moms hugs are so hard and her voice of wisdom is hard to be without. Watching someone leave this world is the hardest thing to do!! I have made it through breast cancer and Chemo and radiation but still think losing mom was the hardest thing I have ever had to do!!!
Oh love, I’m so sorry for the loss of your much loved and missed family members. I can relate so so much to a lot of what you said here. My Grandad died of Cancer extremely quickly when I was 10yrs old. That was bad enough, and seeing my Mum and Nana struggling was horrifically hard. Nana came to live with us and I was soon her secondary carer til she died just 3yrs later. Being a child carer is hard at times, but I wouldn’t swap it for the world, she was so much more to me than a grandparent, she was my best friend. For the longest time I didn’t think my heart could feel pain any worse than that til many years later when our long awaited and forever loved daughter died during labour. It was only then that I truly realised what grief is, the true love for those we miss, and that’s why we never really “get over it” because we will always love those we miss. Knowing my grandparents will be with my little girl brings me so much comfort knowing they will love and protect her with all their being just as they did us, plus she’ll have an absolute blast with the coolest, funniest grandparents known to man. Sending you a ton of love and support, always xxxxxx
Once again you are our teacher and our friend we are walking the path with you. Thank you for sharing that which is so personal.
My precious husband passed away last month on March 20th. We were married for 52 years. This is the roughtest road I have ever traveled and I would not survive without the love of my Savior and our children. I know he will be waiting for me in Heaven. He was a wonderful christain husband, daddy, and grandpa.
Praying to God for great strength and deep comfort in knowing your bonus dad’s final destination Tiffany and family. May God welcome him home! XOXO
Christine Turner
I had to cry while reading this. I understand completely. No one contacted me when my father was dying. And my mother is 95 now. We don’t have a very good ( warm) relationship. I have no idea how I will handle it. Knowing your story might be of some help for that. Thank you.
Tiffany condolences and love to you and your family
Sorry for your loss !
It is hard, every time too face the fact that we are just visiting here we are not home yet !!
It’s always a shock to be reminded we don’t know or control every second forward so we keep pushing forward !
Sending lots of love your way for you and your family !! ❤️❤️💔🙋♀️
I needed to hear this today. You write beautifully. My condolences to you and your family.
I literally just bawled. Like a baby. I dont get on social media much, but when I do its nice to see your posts. I am also in recocery. Since August 26, 2011. Seeing someone who is going through the things I am or have already been through makes me feel, not SO alone. Thank you for just being you! You have no idea what it means to a person like me!
I am heartbroken over your loss, crying as I read but also so happy for the joy you were able to find. Life is short and precious, as you well know.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
So very proud of you. I lost my dad on 1994, to Cancerand Hospice made it possible for him to be at home, with all of us. My mom also left this world surrounded by family at home. Sometimes my heart hurts so bad, cause I can’t hug them and share grandkids and great grandkids with them. I know they are watching over us.
You are a such an amazing lady and should be proud of your accomplishments and it’s apparent that you have the kindest heart.
God will lift you up when you need it most.
I’m crying. In 1991 I said goodbye to my grandma, my most favorite person on this earth. I wasn’t on drugs, but I stayed away because I couldn’t face it. I’ve lived with guilt for my entire life. She asked if she’d ever see her “Heather baby again”. I feel so much guilt. My grandpa is 96, and I cry every time I’m in a room with him. I don’t see him like I should, but I love him and respect him so much. The thought of losing him is overwhelming, and I have stayed away.
My heart goes out to you. I had a special stepfather who had been in my life since I was 7. We lost him in 2008. Like you, I got to cry and say the hard things.
Take all the time you need to for YOU and your family. You have so many people out here who absolutely adore you!
simply a loving and moving story, and I’m so sorry for all of your losses, but so happy for you in your growth and ability to say what you needed and felt. Proud of you!
What a hole is made in your life when you lose people, that for some reason you hold on fooling yourself all along that they can’t die or leave you because you can’t imagine your life without them. Then finally the days come, and you’re no one’s Child or grandchild. You tell yourself that you know that they’re in a better place, but you live in disbelief that they had to be taken from you. I’ve heard so many times that it’s been a long time that they died and it’s time to move on. Hell it’s been 6 years and I still find myself thinking that I can’t wait to show her (my mom) something that I know she might laugh about, or make me feel better. To my mom and dad, my grandma and grandfather, you were the best, I miss you all so much and pray we will be reunited in the end. I love you all.
Tiffany I am so proud of you for speaking from your heart and sharing this story with us. As I read it with tears streaming I could feel your pain in loss as I too have lost family and the ability to say all the things before they left this world… you are stronger than you give yourself credit for!
We all are here for you through this, take care, blessings to you and your family and my sincerest condolences to you and family!
You may not always feel like it, but YOU are a true inspiration!❤️
My heart is with you…experienced similar situation with my mom, dad and brother. So glad you were able to open up. Love to you all.
I read this and balled, for all the loved ones I have lost, most recently and most unexpectedly my brother!! Your words are beautiful and I feel them deep down in my soul, I have so many regrets for not having the chance to tell my brother the things I wish I could have. He passed at 39, from a seizure in his sleep. He left behind 5 kids and lots of siblings and parents. I always wonder if he knew how much I loved him, he lived so far away and we didn’t talk as often as I wished we would have. Sometimes life gets in the way, and you take for granted people who you should cherish EVERY single day. I am so sorry for your loss, as I am still grieving myself, I completely understand. I am still numb most days and still cannot accept it. Thank you for these words, they are so true and so important!!
My heartfelt condolences to you and your family, Tiffany. I send you Love, Prayers, Strength and a virtual Hug, Sugar!
I never thought I would ever feel love toward someone I’ve never met in person but I do. I do have love for you. I am sorry you have a new normal now. I’m glad you are not giving your power away to an unchangeable situation. There is no right or wrong way to go from the state of grieving to the process of mourning. You don’t just go through and over, it evolves. I have heard it said that the relationship does not end, your thoughts you have are a form of relationship and you can always still say what you need to say even after they are gone. Don’t beat yourself up over the unspoken words to the ones who passed before he did. Maybe write them a letter and read aloud to a pic of theirs? If we believe they are watching over us still, I think they can hear us still. I think you might feel better and not like they will forever live in your mind with no place to go? Sending virtual hugs 🫂 We are all here for you. Maybe we will all adopt you! Then you can have a million hyphenations in your last name LOL 😆
Thank you for opening your heart to us. I’m sitting here crying because I wish I would have said things to my mom who went to Heaven December 24th, 2016. So often I think, “why didn’t you ask?” “why didn’t you talk about things from the past?” I think it was because like you said, it is admitting what is happening. I had been to all the chemo and doctor appointments and was there when the doctor told her there was nothing else to be done, and hospice was called in on December 3rd. I stayed the whole time and tried to keep things upbeat. I don’t know you personally, but I feel like I do, and I’m proud of you. And I glad you got to love a man who wasn’t your biological dad, and that he loved you as his own. Hold tight to the memories and I’ll keep you and your family in my prayers.
I am so very sorry for your loss. I was the caregiver to both parents (losing them within six months of each other). I emphathize with what you have had to go through and understand the pain of it all. It is the hardest thing ever. Wishing you much peace and strength. <3
Many prayers for you all. Thank you for sharing something so transparent and deep, close to your heart. 🙏❤️🙏
Tiffany, this is so beautifully said. Loss is hard and painful and sometimes a blessing all in one. It’s so nice to be able to tell the loved one how you feel and them be able to respond back with thier feelings. I am happy you were able to share your feelings with him and know that was comforting to you and him a well. I am so sorry for your loss(es) and i will be praying for you and your family. I have been where you were and where you are so i completely feel you and your emotions. Take time to heal. Take time to grieve. Take time to remember everything you possibly can. You will get through this. Take care of yourself and your family. They mean the world to you and they love you unconditionally!!! Prayers and love!