I've always believed in being transparent. Honesty is key for growth. So if I am being honest with you (and myself), on a scale of 1-10, I am at about a 5 on the "awesome housewife" scale right now. I have been sllllllacking. I can't pin point how, when, or why it started, but you can bet your ass it started, and I have the piles of laundry to prove it. It seems I go through stages. Some days, I cartwheel out of bed and karate chop my daily duties in the throat; flipping around my home like a gymnast with paper towels and a broom. Other days, (like the past few
days, weeks, month or so), I have been a Lazy Leslie. I have tried to justify it to myself and it sounds something like this: "Girl, you got like a hundred kids and a big house, you aren't super woman. Chill, relax, you've earned it. Why don't you lay down for a bit and rest your tired mom-bones".
This self-dialogue is backed up by the fact that the bed is a mere 10 ft away from me all day everyday. Sometimes I swear I hear it yelling at me the moment I pick up a dish to wash: "Ay! Get in here baby, I miss you. Your hands are too delicate to be getting all pruney in that yucky sink water. Put that down and come lay with me." To which I usually reply, "Oh, bed. You know me so well. Here I come boo".
In addition to my lack of enthusiasm about chores and cooking, I have also been neglecting my body, shoveling ice cream sandwiches and Taco Bell down my gullet as if I was competing on Man Vs Food.
I have a history of depression and self esteem issues, so it's important for me to be aware of my behavior. For awhile now I've been in a funk, and I've been using the excuse "I'm overwhelmed" for too long. The truth is, there is plenty of time for me to accomplish the things I need to during the day. I just don't want to.
I feel anxious when the house is cluttered and messy, I am a happier person when everything is in it's place and it smells like febreeze and wax melts up in here. My husband had been busting his butt all day long to support our family, while I laid around for hours, occasionally moving some stuff around to make it appear as if I wasn't indeed the sloth that I've been.
I wasn't holding up my end of the deal, I wasn't contributing as much as I could, I was neglecting my role in the family and it wasn't fair. I am a firm believer in taking some time to yourself to recharge, however my ass had been on the charger for long enough, and it was time to get it together for my family, and myself. So what did I do? I burned the house down so I didn't have to clean anymore. Just kidding.
I turned to my best friend, Google. Together, Google and I did some digging and stumbled upon a website called "Organizing Made Fun". I threw my head back in maniacal laughter\at the blatant misspelling of the word "sucks".
I clicked the site out of curiosity, eager to see why this crazy person thought it would be okay to put "organizing" and "fun" in the same sentence. It came as no surprise that the website itself was beautifully organized. It had different categories clearly displayed for everything from organizing your kids stuff to room by room cleaning/organizing tips and tricks.
If you're like me and were addicted to opiates for ten years and never wiped a baseboard in your life and could use some motivation, inspiration and guidance - this is where it's at! The woman who runs the blog is Becky, and she uses her site to help mom's like me get their s*** together.
She delivers insightful articles about getting finances in order, meal planning, DIY projects, schedules, and organizing tools (which, she mentions using velvet hangers and, I don't want to brag butttt....I already own those, so, beat ya to it Beck).
Anyway, she has a section of her website where she shows us what the inside of her home looks like. At first I was all like "Omg, #goals" but then I was like "HA! Wait a sec, this lady obviously doesn't have kids. Okay, whew! I was starting to feel bad about my life for a second there". As I continued scrolling through her photos, a picture of a child's room appeared on the screen, and then another. Damnit. This lady is a magician.
It really got me thinking. I can do better, I know I can. When I sit on my butt instead of making my home a haven of peace, I am putting my own selfish needs before others. If I had a dollar for every time I scrolled through Facebook and said to myself "Okay, 12 more minutes then we are done reading about Sarah's time at the gym and Donald Trumps wire tap allegations" , I'd be rich.
There's nothing on that phone that is more important than seeing my family comfortable, and happy. The only way I can improve at something is to learn to do it better. I am not even close to perfect and need all the help I can get, so finding a site that makes it easy for me to learn to be the person I want to be was a breath of fresh air.
I spent about an hour reading advice on that site, and made a conscious decision to put the phone down and start making a change. I organized my pantry, cabinets and fridge. It took a couple hours, but the relief I felt after decluttering and the joy on the kids faces once their snacks were all organized and accessible was beyond rewarding.
I'm doing little things each day, but they are slowly adding up; and I honestly feel better than I have in a long time. My husband deserves a wife who takes care of things for him, because he does so much for our family. I want to be that wife.
Now don't misunderstand, I'm not saying organizing is "fun", okay, let's not get crazy. But being organized and tidy is much easier than scrambling each morning to find my sons infamous missing shoe and throwing random items from the fridge into a lunchbox as we are running out the door late for school.
I welcome chaos, all I've ever known is chaos, but from here on out; I'm gonna try to do things differently. Will I be back to throwing random articles of clothing over my shoulder as I furiously search for a pair of matching socks in a few weeks? Possibly. But if there is something more I can be doing to keep our home running like a well oiled machine- I'm sure as hell gonna try.
How do you keep your home organized? Do you have any tips or tricks you'd like to share? Let me know in the comments! (I need all the help I can get!)
- Anonymous on Ashley’s Story, Recovering Beautifully.
- Anonymous on Ashley’s Story, Recovering Beautifully.
- Anonymous on Helpful Links for those who are struggling.
- Jessica on 10 Things I Didn’t Anticipate With Having 2 Under 2.
- Monica Vaughan on I have a bonus daughter…
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