I see you standing there; your arms crossed tightly across your chest as the tears stream down your red cheeks. I see you wipe them away and attempt to smile despite the immense amount of emotional pain you are in. You are gazing off into the distance; replaying in your mind memories of the time you and him spent together and shaking your head in disbelief.
Yesterday you two were sitting on the couch together; snuggled under the blankets watching a movie and today – today it’s suddenly and surprisingly…Over.
The future you had envisioned has disappeared right before your eyes; snatched away from your grasp and you are left here questioning everything you’ve ever believed to be true. You are asking me what you did to deserve this. You say you feel broken; and are wondering why you aren’t enough for him. What could you have done differently to make him want to stay. I need you to hear me when I say this; nothing – there is nothing you could have done differently.
Because he was not the one for you…
You are special. You are unique. Your eyes, your nose, your hair, your laugh and your smile – they are all so special. God has created you perfectly. He knew what he was doing when he made you; and he knew that one day; you would be with the one who loved you completely and unconditionally.
You are a treasure worth cherishing and unfortunately for him – he didn’t recognize the gift he had been given in you. His rejection- is God’s protection.
Him letting you go; is Gods way of freeing you up so that his grander plan for you can unfold. This man was a chapter in your life – but this is not how your story will end.
You will need to experience the pain and sadness, as you mourn the memories and comfort that came along with the familiarity of that relationship. It will be hard as hell; and there will be moments of weakness – but I need you to remember that there is a much bigger picture here; one more beautiful than you can begin to imagine. It has been hand painted by the Lord himself to perfection. This pain won’t last forever; and once it is over you will look back and realize that the end of this chapter- was the beginning of the best one yet.
You value is not measured by a mans inability to see it. Your self worth is not defined by whether or not you are someone’s “Woman Crush Wednesday”. It starts from within; and once you recognize your worth-it will make it much more difficult for you to give it away to someone who can’t afford it.
This life is so short my friend; and you should never have to question someone’s love for you on a regular basis. The right man will cherish you. He will spend each day ensuring that you know how special you are to him. You were placed on this earth not to be betrayed and taken advantage of; but to thrive- to love and to be loved. You are strong; you are beautiful; and you are worthy of that love. You deserve that kind of love.
I’m not saying you should move on right away. What I am saying, is that you should envision moving forward. It’s okay to feel numb, sad and weak – but don’t live there. Grieving is a process of healing and coming to terms with the loss of what could have been; while adjusting to how things are now. He was a huge part of your life; and it will take some time to get past this – there are no deadlines here and it’s important that you know that it’s okay to not be okay. As your friend I promise you though; that you are not alone; and I will be here holding your hand every step of the way on your journey to the next chapter.
I love you and I am so sorry that you are hurting. But I know in my heart of hearts that there will come a day when you and I are sitting on the back porch of your beautiful home; looking through the window as the man that God has made for you chases your beautiful children around the house while they laugh hysterically. That day will come and when it does – you will realize that this man letting you go – was the greatest gift he could have given you.
You will get through this; I promise.
P.S. Let me know if you want to go egg his house – I’m totally down….
Wow, thank you.
Bawling my eyes out. ??
Sent from my iPhone
Thank you!! Needed that more than you could ever know!!!??
Every word is truth. It’s hard to comprehend but it’s in God’s plan. He knows what is best for us. I’ve had many ‘stepping stones’ in my life but I trust that He knows what he’s doing. All our lives we have lessons, and the more we learn here are that many less we take with us into the next lifetime. Bigger and better things are on their way!
Wow, so powerful but do many words I needed to hear. Thank you girl!
This really hit home for me. I just broke up with my boyfriend who is also my son’s father of 13 years and I am extremely heartbroken over it. I am having a very hard time dealing with not being with him, and it was so nice to read this. I had to break up with him, because he is a meth addict, and it ruined our relationship. He treated me so bad, and did some horrible things to me during our relationship, when he was under the influence. The drug turned him into a person that he is not. It was very hard for me to leave him, but I told him I was done if he did not want to get sober, and better his life. I tried everything to tell him that his life would be so much better if he would just give getting clean a chance, because he is a great person underneath the person that drugs has turned him into. I tried to stay by his side, and help him in any way I could but I was only hurting myself, because he was very emotionally and verbally abusive towards me, and I have to tell myself that it isn’t me, it is just the drugs that make him that way, but it took me a long time to except that because I blamed myself for a long time when I shouldn’t have. I finally realized that he is not going to get clean, until he is ready, no matter what I tell him isn’t going to help him until he is truely ready. And I hope and pray every day that he will one day choose to get help. I stayed with him way too long, because I didn’t want to give up on him and in hopes that he would want to get sober. Being in a relationship with him while he was on drugs was the hardest thing I have been through, even me being addicted to meth myself. I got clean a few times, and kept slipping up, and the day after I had my last slip up, I decided I would never use again and that I was done with that drug for good. I told myself my son was more important to me, and that I would never touch it again. And it has stuck with me this time. I have never had even an urge to do it again, and I have stayed clean for 8 months now, and have many monthes/years to add to that. I am so glad to have found your website, I feel like a can relate to so much of your stuff, I have only read a few so far, but what I have read has been a help to me, especially this one. Whenever I’m feeling down, I will come back to this and read it. I love the videos that you do too, you are really funny! Keep doing what you are doing, you are so amazing at it!
I needed this today and I’m so glad I came across your blog. I love your writing! ??